Consider this quote:
I failed once before at marriage, so I can speak from both experience on both sides. Do you prioritize the time you put into loving, above the time you put into housework, or meal-planning, or working outside the home? Do you prioritize the time you put into loving, above the time you put into housework, or meal-planning, or working outside the home? For me -- and maybe for a lot of other moms -- that doesn't come naturally, but getting things in the wrong order just will not work in the long run.
I just finished reading a book called Intimate Issues. The title sounds like you must have "issues" in order to benefit from reading, and it does cover some heavy topics, but the main point of the book is to teach what God's word has to say about the gift of physical intimacy in the context of marriage.
[In case you haven't figured it out by now, this post is mostly about sex; just a warning if you're uncomfortable with the topic, though I promise not too go in depth! After all, my daughters often read my blog!]
Too many women (and men, probably!) don't realize the importance of sex in marriage: for bonding; for comfort in times of stress or grief; for protection from temptation; for procreation; and for just plain enjoyment! We've bought into what the world has to say about it, and we've allowed the world's ideas to taint what should be an amazing gift.
I want my kids to understand God's view of sex, too. Growing up, my mom made sure I knew the basics about sex. Church made it clear that I shouldn't have sex before marriage because it was a sin. In sex-ed class (public school), I learned that if I had sex, I should be careful so I didn't get pregnant or catch an STD. But NEVER, in all of this, did I learn the why of waiting 'til marriage; I never learned that it was a fantastic gift that God invented, and doing it outside of marriage meant missing out on amazing blessings, and throwing away what was intended to be a gift from me to my husband. I believed the world's lies and distortions of truth. I don't want my kids falling into that trap. Yesterday Lindsey heard something Ken and I said about the homework from a marriage retreat: to have sex with your spouse. She said that was "too much information" because she didn't want to think about "old people 'doing it'" -- and she meant some friends our age! I told her sex is a good thing, and a big part of a happy marriage. Our marriage-enrichment-teaching friends say they have a goal of grossing out their kids out at least once a week with their shows of physical affection; even though the kids may gag and roll their eyes, they love seeing their parents in love, and it models what marriage should look like even after twenty-something years! This couple makes loving each other a priority in many ways, including scheduling a hotel date once a month for a romantic overnight rendezvous -- and I should mention that they are parents to five kids, ranging in age from two to seventeen! I love the example they set!
In general, I think Christians are beginning to do a better job of teaching purity, and the reasons behind it, but sometimes we focus so much on the don't-do-it aspects of sex that we neglect the flip-side: that in the proper context, it is good and meant to be enjoyed! We tend to be so uncomfortable discussing things like with our kids that they end up thinking that we have only "done it" often enough to equal the number of children we have! I'm still uncomfortable discussing this with the girls, but the more we talk about it, the less awkward it gets.
Life should be a continual learning process; I will never know all there is to know on any subject, so this is another area of life where I want to learn and grow. The fact is, any growth in this area will not only bless me, but will also bless my husband and strengthen my marriage, which is also always a benefit to my children!
"The marriage comes first. All other people and events come after the marriage. Children, parents, work, and play all benefit most by marital priority instead of marital sacrifice, because the marriage is the central unit to all other processes. If it is true that we reap what we sow, then marriages are in big trouble... If we put as much time in our working as we allow for our loving, we would end up unemployed or bankrupt."Only in recent years did I truly begin to understand that I must prioritize my marriage over my children.
I failed once before at marriage, so I can speak from both experience on both sides. Do you prioritize the time you put into loving, above the time you put into housework, or meal-planning, or working outside the home? Do you prioritize the time you put into loving, above the time you put into housework, or meal-planning, or working outside the home? For me -- and maybe for a lot of other moms -- that doesn't come naturally, but getting things in the wrong order just will not work in the long run.I just finished reading a book called Intimate Issues. The title sounds like you must have "issues" in order to benefit from reading, and it does cover some heavy topics, but the main point of the book is to teach what God's word has to say about the gift of physical intimacy in the context of marriage.
[In case you haven't figured it out by now, this post is mostly about sex; just a warning if you're uncomfortable with the topic, though I promise not too go in depth! After all, my daughters often read my blog!]
Too many women (and men, probably!) don't realize the importance of sex in marriage: for bonding; for comfort in times of stress or grief; for protection from temptation; for procreation; and for just plain enjoyment! We've bought into what the world has to say about it, and we've allowed the world's ideas to taint what should be an amazing gift.
I want my kids to understand God's view of sex, too. Growing up, my mom made sure I knew the basics about sex. Church made it clear that I shouldn't have sex before marriage because it was a sin. In sex-ed class (public school), I learned that if I had sex, I should be careful so I didn't get pregnant or catch an STD. But NEVER, in all of this, did I learn the why of waiting 'til marriage; I never learned that it was a fantastic gift that God invented, and doing it outside of marriage meant missing out on amazing blessings, and throwing away what was intended to be a gift from me to my husband. I believed the world's lies and distortions of truth. I don't want my kids falling into that trap. Yesterday Lindsey heard something Ken and I said about the homework from a marriage retreat: to have sex with your spouse. She said that was "too much information" because she didn't want to think about "old people 'doing it'" -- and she meant some friends our age! I told her sex is a good thing, and a big part of a happy marriage. Our marriage-enrichment-teaching friends say they have a goal of grossing out their kids out at least once a week with their shows of physical affection; even though the kids may gag and roll their eyes, they love seeing their parents in love, and it models what marriage should look like even after twenty-something years! This couple makes loving each other a priority in many ways, including scheduling a hotel date once a month for a romantic overnight rendezvous -- and I should mention that they are parents to five kids, ranging in age from two to seventeen! I love the example they set!
In general, I think Christians are beginning to do a better job of teaching purity, and the reasons behind it, but sometimes we focus so much on the don't-do-it aspects of sex that we neglect the flip-side: that in the proper context, it is good and meant to be enjoyed! We tend to be so uncomfortable discussing things like with our kids that they end up thinking that we have only "done it" often enough to equal the number of children we have! I'm still uncomfortable discussing this with the girls, but the more we talk about it, the less awkward it gets.
Life should be a continual learning process; I will never know all there is to know on any subject, so this is another area of life where I want to learn and grow. The fact is, any growth in this area will not only bless me, but will also bless my husband and strengthen my marriage, which is also always a benefit to my children!
