I was a fool

It still amazes me that something written such a l-o-n-g time ago is so relevant to me and my life. When I read Psalm 107 this morning, I copied part of it down in my journal. This passage could easily be written with my name substituted in here, like this:

[Jamie] sat in darkness and gloom... because [she] rebelled against God's commands and despised the counsel of the Most High. [She] stumbled, and there was no one to help. Then [she] cried out to the LORD in [her] trouble; He saved [her]... He brought [her] out of darkness and gloom and broke [her] chains apart.

It seems harsh to say I "despised the counsel of the Most High," but I did my own thing and valued my own so-called wisdom more highly than His, so that's exactly what I did. That hit me hard today; the Word really does cut like a sword (Hebrews 4:12).

It wasn't until I was desperate--until my variety of wisdom had proven itself worthless and void--that I called on the Lord. In His great mercy, He saved me. He broke the chains of darkness, and freed me from the sin that entangled my life. It still took years before I began to fully realize the scope of what He did then. It blows my mind.

The Psalm continues on. I don't even have to substitute my name. "Fool" suited me quite well for many years:

"Fools suffered affliction because of their rebellious ways and their sins... Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He saved them from their distress. He sent His word and healed them; He rescued them from the Pit. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His faithful love and His wonderful works for the human race.  Let them... announce His works with shouts of joy."

I was a fool who rebelled against God. He sent His word--Jesus Christ--and healed me. So now I give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love, and I ask Him to help me be bold in announcing His works with shouts of joy!