One Tough Question

Yesterday, I read a fabulous post by Kristen at We are THAT Family. I highly encourage you to read about her trip to Africa, but in short, the part of that post that hit me was this:

So. This week, I got up the nerve and asked God, "Why do you allow poverty, suffering, and injustice when You could do something about it.”

And He asked me the same question.

I'm working on the answer.

Me, too.

Uncomfortable

I am comfortable. Yes, there are things I'd change if I could, and my life is far from perfect, but I am comfortable. There's one problem with that: God doesn't call me to be comfortable.

I've already learned that God doesn't like me in my comfort zone. Last time He called me out of it, I ended up on an airplane to Africa. The time before that, we decided to adopt a teenager. Both scared the daylights out of me. And both have been huge blessings.

I pray for big things, like, "Break my heart with the things that break Your heart," and then I'm dumbfounded when He does exactly that.

He puts friends in my life who challenge me: those who have chosen to downsize in a world of more; others who are trusting God to determine their family size; some who have adopted medically fragile children...

I want my life to look different, because I am different; Christ has changed me from the inside out.  I don't want my life to make sense to unbelievers; I want to live a crazy-love kind of life. But it's scary. I wonder how long it will be before I'll learn to recognize His voice immediately and do what He calls me to do right away, without question. {sigh} 

In years past, I sometimes I stuck my figurative fingers in my ears trying my best not to listen to Him -- so maybe I am making a little spiritual progress after all.  {wink}

He's calling me to be uncomfortable. I just don't yet know exactly what that looks like...

Slandering God's Message

In my personal Bible time, I've been studying Titus. Sometimes it's easy to breeze through parts of the Bible I think I already know, but if I let myself go into it thinking that way, I'd miss so much!

I knew the basics: elders in the church are to set a good example, that older women are to instruct and encourage the younger women, and the younger women are to love their husbands and children, and so on... but I'd missed a very important part -- the reason why to do all these things! 

"...so that God's message will not be slandered." (Titus 2:5)

In all my years of growing up in church,  I didn't realize that I was an ambassador for Christ, whether I liked it or not. Because I called myself a Christian, I was his representative. Period. I certainly wasn't a good one. I knew that sin would affect my personal relationship with Christ, but I never thought of how unbelievers might view God because of me. That grieves me greatly now. Even though I wasn't truly trusting and following Christ in those years, I still professed belief in Him -- but the things I did while wearing a cross around my neck and calling myself His follower must have angered and saddened Him. I join with Paul in saying, "we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, captives of various passions and pleasures..." I was all those things, but Christ rescued me from myself.

So now, I want to be mindful of how I live. I want to "walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God." (Colossians 1:10) I want to live joyfully because Christ is with me -- and within me; I want to honor Him with my life, in how I love my husband, my children, my friends, my literal and figurative neighbors; I want to honor Him in how I manage my (His, really) finances and material goods. I never, ever again want to do anything to slander God's message.

I've been thinking more about good works, too. It's not how we're saved, but we should be eager and ready to do good works (see Titus 2:14, 3:1). There are people in the world who have never heard the gospel of Christ, but most of the people I know have heard it over and over -- maybe incorrectly, or missing parts, but they know the basic message. The problem is they don't see Christians living any differently Monday through Saturday than anyone else. They need to see Christ's love in action, and it needs to look different than the good works done by kindly philanthropists who want to better the world. So many people have very low expectations for Christians, and that grieves me -- but does it grieve me enough?  

Seeking Wisdom

Hardly a day goes by without me praying for wisdom. Wisdom is absolutely required in parenting, but  it doesn't come automatically! Some days I make a point of praying for wisdom as a part of my morning routine, but there are a whole lot of times I have to pray on-the-fly as challenges of life come up. There are just w-a-y too many things that are beyond my human capacity for figuring out, so I need all the divine wisdom I can get!

This passage is one that inspires our homeschool, but I reread the passage yesterday and paid more attention to the second part:

"For wisdom will enter your mind, and knowledge will delight your heart. Discretion will watch over you, and understanding will guard you, rescuing you from the way of evil." Proverbs 2:10-12a

True wisdom --the kind that comes from God-- is what I desire for myself, but I also want to impart it to my kids. In fact, it's what I'm called to do as a parent: disciple my children. I've been praying about how we can reflect this as a main priority in our lives. Wisdom is what will enable us to live in a way that glorifies and honors Christ.

So we'll be working more on making changes in our homeschool and our daily lives so we may "be transformed by the renewing of [our] mind, so that [we] may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2) As we make these changes, I'll be sharing about them here in blogland. First up (next week, I hope): a revamp of our schedule and a few additions/modifications to our schoolwork.

A Women-to-Woman Opportunity

When we were in Botswana last year, we met a bunch of great people, including Beth and Kelly Green. I got tickled about his name because it's a color. ;) They are from Florida, but Kelly had been working for a few months as an interim pastor at the satellite church of Open Baptist (the church we were partnered with in this mission trip).  Thanks to the world of facebook, Beth and I have been able to keep in touch, and I'm excited that she and Kelly will be coming to our church next month, along with a few folks from Open Baptist.

Kelly and Beth have partnered with a local pastor's wife in a fabulous ministry in Uganda where women like you and I have the opportunity to sponsor a woman there as she learns skills to start her own business to feed her family, doing things like sewing, making necklaces, farming, or tending animals. The goal is independence, so they are sponsored and trained for one year, and then "graduated" so that a new group of women have the opportunity to be sponsored. In 2009, thirty-one Ugandan women participated in the program. This year, thirty-six women (a whole new group) are sponsored in Uganda, so the ministry is growing already. Check out this video from last July when Beth went hut to hut to check in with the women in the program.

Now they are being led to start a group of women in Zambia. They need at least ten sponsors. The monthly commitment is $40, and of course, it's tax deductible. The sponsorship pays for a woman to learn a trade, to purchase supplies for her trade, and to help feed her family during that year. I still need to talk to Ken about it, but I'd like to be a sponsor myself. And I'd love to have an opportunity to go meet the women in Zambia, too!

You can view a PDF brochure about the program here. A brief exerpt:

"The women of the village... live in mud huts. Each day they must work hard to produce enough food for themselves and their families.  Many of these women are widows or have been deserted by their husbands.  Most of these women support not only themselves and their children but also orphans.  They have to face  devastating disease such as malaria, typhoid and HIV/AIDs.  They have no electricity, no running water and no toilets.  Their meals are prepared outside their huts over an open fire. When they are sick, there are no clinics to help them."

Beth shared a few testimonies from the women who graduated from the program last year. Here's one example (keep in mind this is translated by someone who does not speak English as her first language): 

Angela's Testimony --

Before: Her family was not peaceful and the husband used to beat her, chase her away, and he used not to buy for the children food. She was fed up of the situation and she was going back to her parents.

And now: She is so grateful to sister Beth for getting her the person who has helped her and the situation at home is back to normal and her husband is now saved. The money she gets, has helped her to buy food, pay school fees, buy them clothes, medication for her children. She learnt how to use the tailoring machine. Bought material and now she is sowing people’s clothes for money. She is so happy and thank you so much.

Local friends: Beth would be happy to meet with us while they are in town in February to answer question or explain the program more in-depth, so please let me know if you'd be interested in meeting with her! We could meet right here at my house. Not-so-local friends: email me with any questions, and I will put you in contact with Beth!

Blessing or Burden?

I've been reading, and thinking, and listening, and thinking, and observing, and thinking. In my first completed "good read" of 2010, Family Driven Faith, author Voddie Baucham, Jr asks this question: When did we [our culture] begin to hate children?

This book is one of those that required me to spend a little time "chewing" on what I'd just read, so I took it just a bit at a time. The part about how we view children really got me thinking, and since the time I read that, I've had the opportunity to listen and observe people in various situations and gatherings in regards to what they say and how they feel about kids. I did not make a point of noticing these things, but comments and conversations seem to keep catching my ear and sending my thoughts immediately back to Voddie's statement: When did we begin to hate children?

I recently heard a mom plainly state that her youngest was "a mistake." That statement has always driven me batty. Not every child is planned, and not every pregnancy is received as a joyous blessing, but once that child is here, what difference does it make whether or not its conception was planned? It's  completely irrelevant and statements like that most likely make the child feel as if his/her life has little value. (This child in this instance was certainly old enough to understand the statement.)

Friends who have more than what seems to be the culturally accepted one to three children have told me stories of the outlandish things said to them when they were expecting their fourth or fifth child. Here in blogland, the mom of a large family shares some of the things people have asked, like "Are they all yours?" or "Don't you know what causes that?" or  "How can you possibly handle all those kids?" Why does our culture think it's so terrible to have a large family?

Many of us have bought into the lie that we have to have a certain size home to allow for a certain number of children, as well as a big SUV emblazoned with stickers from our college of choice. Why? My mom shared a room with two sisters until the day she moved out of her parent's house. Her family had one car, and they managed to get to and from school, extra-curricular activities, church and church activities, grocery shopping and errands, and her father's job all with one car. Ken's dad shared a tiny bedroom with his brother right up until he joined the Marines. I recently read a book set in the 1940's where three sisters shared a bed; two sleeping in one direction, and the third (they took turns) sleeping in the middle with her head at the foot of the bed. Why do we think that's so awful these days? Perhaps it is not the most comfortable way to live but does the eternal salvation of our children or their walk with Christ depend upon how nice our home is, what college they attend, or even IF they attend college?

Still others of us have fallen victim to believing that being a full-time mom is something to apologize for; that we need a degree and a good job to be of value. But what profession is more demanding, more rewarding, and more important than shaping the lives of people who have the potential to affect our society for better or for worse. And why isn't it culturally acceptable for our daughters, even the really bright ones, to aspire to be keepers of the home, helpmeet to their husbands, and to disciple their children? It is a high and noble calling, not one to be ashamed of!

I can't count how many times I've heard moms say they are "done having kids." I understand that pregnancy is different for every woman, and please, please know that I am not speaking to anyone who has serious health issues related to pregnancy; I know there are definitely some medical conditions that cause doctors to caution certain women against having more children. Last week we had another NILMDTS session; the baby was one of a set of twins, the other twin had died a few weeks prior, and this was after six years of trying to get pregnant. How heartbreaking! When I hear people complain about pregnancy, or say that their kids are driving them crazy and they are ready to send them back to school, I think of this heartbroken and grieving couple who would give anything to have a healthy child. 

 What I have come to realize is that some "culturally acceptable" things like abortion are blatantly anti-child, but there are so many other ways this is evidenced as well. It's clear that our culture does not view children as the blessing the Bible tells us they are, and that breaks my heart. I believe it breaks God's heart, too.

O Christmas Tree

Recently, I read this passage (Jeremiah 10:2-4) for the first time:

"This is what the LORD says:
Do not learn the way of the nations
or be terrified by signs in the heavens,
although the nations are terrified by them,

for the customs of the peoples are worthless.
Someone cuts down a tree from the forest;
[it is] worked by the hands of a craftsman with a chisel.

He decorates it with silver and gold.
It is fastened with hammer and nails,
so it won't totter."

Kinda ironic that I'm writing this post now, if you notice that my previous post is all about our Christmas decorations. It's clear that this passage warns us of the dangers of worshiping idols, and it only takes a little bit of research to see that many Christmastime traditions have pagan origins. As I watch my Christmas tree lights blink, I ask: what does that mean for me?

I think that whether or not I put up a Christmas tree is irrelevant, but singing "O Christmas Tree" does seem rather creepy after reading those verses in Jeremiah. I don't know anyone who worships a Christmas tree as an idol, but I know many who worship material things, or allow the materialism of the secular holiday season to take over what should be a beautiful time of remembering what God did in sending His Son to be born as a man on earth so that He could one day die on a cross to pay for our sins.

I believe this really comes down to the essential question that we who claim to follow Christ should be asking ourselves every day: who or what do we worship? Not just at Christmas, but any time? Do our daily lives reflect what we claim to believe?

Thankfulness and Traditions

Last week, we filled shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child, a ministry of Samaritan's Purse. We've done this every year for the past 3 or 4 years, and I think we've added a box each time. This year we made two boxes for girls, and two boxes for boys. Kathryn prepared the girls' boxes, and Lindsey prepared the boys' boxes. They wrote notes and included a family photo, and we're all hoping the kids write back. Collection day at our church was last Sunday, but it's not too late to send a shoebox yourself, if you're interested! (Click that link above.)

As we get ready for our Thanksgiving feast, we are making a point of realizing how much we have to be thankful for. Our thankful tree is getting quite full, and I've been writing a few verses on the tree trunk that remind us what the Bible has to say about being thankful. A few I added today:

• Psalm 89:15 -- "Happy are the people who know how to praise you..."
• Psalm 118:1 -- "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good..."
• Ephesians 5:20 -- "Always give thanks to God the Father for everything..."

I'm very much looking forward to a different sort of Thanksgiving this year. We've never hosted at our home before, and there will be less of the extended family than usual, but we've extended an invitation to quite a few friends who don't have family in town, and I'm delighted that a few of them have accepted. I'd love for it to become a tradition, this inviting of an assortment of folks. Seems to me like what Thanksgiving is really about.

Are there any holiday traditions you'd like to begin?

Praise from Botswana!

I have had the opportunity to correspond via email with a few of the people we met in Botswana. This is one of the times I love technology (because there are quite a few times I don't love technology!)!

Most of the people at the marriage conference came as couples, but there were a few individuals. who attended. One of those individuals was an Ethiopian gentleman at our table. Though he didn't specifically say that he and his wife were separated, we got that impression, and we knew that she and the children were here in the States for an undetermined amount of time.

A couple of months ago, I sent an email to this gentleman to let him know some specific things I was praying for him, and he responded saying,

"...I knew that GOD is responding fast as you are praying to me and my family. I trust GOD, every thing will be good as it is all His will but on His time and I will not be tired waiting for the time of GOD... AMEN!"

Today I received this email from the same gentlemen (keep in mind that English is not his first language, so forgive him for a little bit of odd wording):

"Praise GOD, our GOD is so close, Our prayer was heared and responce came, My family is all back home with peace and LOVE. The miracle of GOD that splited the meditranean has opened a way to bring my family back together. This is my witness on responce of heared prayer, which you participated in a lot.
Thank you
The friend you prayed for at Gaborone, Botswana
GOD is Great!"

God hears every one of our prayers, no matter where we are. Isn't great to realize that we can have an impact on the lives of people on the other side of the world? I feel rejuvenated about the power of prayer, and wanted to share this with you all! So keep on praying!

One Thing

One of the passages I pondered during my Bible time this morning was Philippians 1:27-30. This gives us yet another reminder that the true Christian life will have struggles -- not might have, but will have. That's not what the Americanized version of the gospel tends to teach, but it's the Truth.

But it's actually the very first bit of this passage that hits me most:

"Just one thing: live your life in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ..."

This one thing should flavor all that I do. I'm reminded of something I read in Crazy Love: how we live our days is how we live our lives. So how am I living my days? Is it with this one thing clearly in focus? Am I living this day, today, in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ?

Video from last Sunday's testimony

Several friends and family have said they'd like to see a video of the testimony we shared on Sunday, and the wonderful folks at church made us a copy on DVD. After much tinkering, we figured out how to get it on YouTube so we could more easily share it with anyone who wasn't able to see it in person.

So those of you who only know me in blogland now get to hear me talk and see me in motion. It's soooo weird to watch myself on video -- do I really look like that?
I guess so!

Here are a few things you should know before you watch:

• The sound is a teensy bit off from the video, so Ken and I made cheesy kung-fu movie jokes when we first watched this video. Hopefully YOU are more mature than we are and can ignore this. ;)
• Due to YouTube time limitations, we have edited the video to make it shorter. Plus, we didn't ask permission to post the testimony from the other lady who shared, so we edited her part out. 
• There's a little music before we come up, then a bit more before we come back up, so I hope you'll watch the whole thing. :)
  

OK, on with the show...

If for some reason the video won't work for you, try clicking this link to see it on YouTube.

I was a fool

It still amazes me that something written such a l-o-n-g time ago is so relevant to me and my life. When I read Psalm 107 this morning, I copied part of it down in my journal. This passage could easily be written with my name substituted in here, like this:

[Jamie] sat in darkness and gloom... because [she] rebelled against God's commands and despised the counsel of the Most High. [She] stumbled, and there was no one to help. Then [she] cried out to the LORD in [her] trouble; He saved [her]... He brought [her] out of darkness and gloom and broke [her] chains apart.

It seems harsh to say I "despised the counsel of the Most High," but I did my own thing and valued my own so-called wisdom more highly than His, so that's exactly what I did. That hit me hard today; the Word really does cut like a sword (Hebrews 4:12).

It wasn't until I was desperate--until my variety of wisdom had proven itself worthless and void--that I called on the Lord. In His great mercy, He saved me. He broke the chains of darkness, and freed me from the sin that entangled my life. It still took years before I began to fully realize the scope of what He did then. It blows my mind.

The Psalm continues on. I don't even have to substitute my name. "Fool" suited me quite well for many years:

"Fools suffered affliction because of their rebellious ways and their sins... Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He saved them from their distress. He sent His word and healed them; He rescued them from the Pit. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His faithful love and His wonderful works for the human race.  Let them... announce His works with shouts of joy."

I was a fool who rebelled against God. He sent His word--Jesus Christ--and healed me. So now I give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love, and I ask Him to help me be bold in announcing His works with shouts of joy!

Crazy in Love...

Have you ever been in love?

Maybe you weren't as corny as this couple, but I'd venture a guess that most of us have, at some point in our lives, acted like goofballs because of how we felt about that special someone. Maybe it was sacrificing sleep to spend a little extra time together, or spending a ridiculous amount of time on the phone just to hear your true love's voice. Maybe it was spending extravagant sums of money to lavish gifts upon your loved one. Or maybe just feeling all swoon-ish when they're near.

I like country music, but haven't listened to it much lately. On the way to Florida, however, we kept losing radio channels and having to find new ones, and we listened to a good bit of country. A song I liked came on; it's about how this fellow is acting because he is head-over-heels in love:

What a beautiful mess!
What a beautiful mess I'm in.
Spendin' all my time with you,
There's nothin' else I'd rather do.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.
'Cause I can't get enough,
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I'm in.

I've been reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and I've been challenged by what God is showing me through it. Every chapter leaves me with a lot to think about, but one particular thing I'm spending a great deal of time thinking about what it means to be in love with Christ. As I listened to that country song, I remembered when Ken and I were newly in love, then I started thinking that being in love with Christ should be that way, too. Do I have a hunger for Him, for His love? Do I crave more and more time with Him? Would I really rather be with Him than do anything else?

Ponder this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there? (Quoted from John Piper)

If we are truly in love with Christ, that would NOT be enough. I guess the thing to really think about is whether we do what we do out of a feeling of obligation,  or maybe out of a desire to get something in return for our good works. Or is it truly because of a passionate love for Christ?

I want to be consumed with Christ. I want to love passionately, and that means not only loving God that way, but loving others that way, too. I can't claim to love God, but refuse to love the people He created, even the annoying, hard-to-get-along-with people.
I want to love hard.

Lessons from My Garden

A couple of weeks ago, my flower garden was so hideously full of weeds that I was embarrassed to walk outside. Once it had gotten so bad, I was too overwhelmed to know where to start in getting rid of them! I've walked through my flower garden nearly every day, yet it seemed like overnight that the weeds suddenly took over! It's not that they weren't there already; those weeds had been visible for quite a while, but they were small and easily ignored. I should've made a point to stop and pluck them as soon as they popped up. Instead, I ignored them until they became jungle-like. I finally worked up the courage to spend a couple of hours out there, weeding 'til my hamstrings hurt for a week afterwards! My sweet husband slaved away another day, nearly all day, until that jungle was tamed.

Some plants in my garden have become weeds. Although I willingly and lovingly planted them, they have grown bigger than I thought they would, more vigorously than I thought they would, and have popped up in all sorts of places I didn't plant them. I have pulled up many of them, and will have to do away with some entirely. Some can stay, but must be tamed and regularly monitored and cut back so that I can keep them under control. Some -- like mint -- can only be kept if in a separate container; I've learned the hard way that they will run rampant and would take over the whole garden if I let them. (Seriously, never ever plant mint of any kind unless you want it to take over the world! I've been pulling up mint -- by the roots -- for two years now and it STILL mysteriously pops up every now and then!)

I learn much from my garden. Roses are some of my favorites for their beauty and sweet fragrance. But they require a great deal of care. The don't flourish if I ignore them. Much like relationships. I have to put time and energy and love into relationships with my husband, our children, and other family and friends if I expect those relationships to flourish.

Everything in the garden requires some degree of sunlight and rain, and good, enriched soil in order to thrive. Much like any "fruit" in my life requires a close relationship with Christ. Those weeds that turned into a jungle are like old behavior patterns and beliefs that I have to keep giving to God over and over again. I can't let them wiggle back into my life or they will try to choke out the healthy new growth.

The seemingly innocuous plants that became like weeds are things like hobbies and activities. They can be beautiful and/or beneficial, but only if kept in their proper place. I can't allow outside activities to take precedence over family time, or a desire for extra sleep to override my need to start my day with some time in the Bible. I must regularly evaluate these things to make sure I'm keeping my priorities in proper order.

Do you learn from your garden? Or any other unusual places?

On Safari!

I never thought I'd want to go on a mission trip.

But God changed my heart.

I never would have expected to go to Africa.

But God gave me this trip as a gift. The people. The lessons learned. The whole experience.

I never would have expected to go on Safari.
But God is an extravagant giver.

It's a long way to Africa, and I don't take for granted that I may never have another opportunity to be here. So on our last day there, we all went on safari at a game preserve in South Africa.

Driving in, we saw kudu (a type of large deer), impala, zebra, and giraffe! We couldn't believe we saw so many animals before we were even "officially" there!

The lodge was spectacular; wonderful accommodations, delicious food, great personnel. Our surroundings finally looked like Africa! As soon as we arrived, we spotted some kind of monkeys in a nearby tree, but not close enough to identify. We saw birds we hadn't seen while in the city. Trees like you see in movies.

We went to our rooms to get settled. The rooms were really individual cabins, with a true thatched roof, fireplace, and a view out on hills where we watched zebra and wildebeest graze. Walking through our room, I got teary-eyed, thinking about how my God was blessing me. Or why He was blessing me, of all people. I never have trouble accepting God as Creator: huge and powerful and holy. But I often have trouble accepting that He cares about the little things. He does, though, and this is a lesson He's been trying to teach me for some time; I just never expected Him to go to such great lengths to do so.

We headed back to the lodge for lunch. Again, I was just overwhelmed. Then, an elephant walked by. An elephant. Here I was--a girl who grew up watching and absorbing all the PBS nature shows I could, learning about all the great variety of animals in the world but NEVER dreaming I'd see something like an elephant outside of a zoo. But an elephant walked by. And looked at me.I was my typical, excited self, and couldn't believe I was looking at a wild elephant, walking 20 or 30 feet from me. As the realization of this hit me, I started to cry. This was, to me, nothing short of a miracle. A divine gift. If we hadn't seen any other animals the whole time, I would have been completely content. I ran down the boardwalk to an observation area that overlooks a watering hole, and watched the elephant drink, play, and bathe. I'm not one to cry in front of other people, but I couldn't help it; I just kept crying at the wonder of it all. At the wonder of GOD!

I finally composed myself enough to eat, and as we sat outside having lunch, we saw a group of baboons up on the hill. First the big leader, checking things out, then the rest of his group. Our friends from South Africa identified some of the birds we'd been seeing, like an iridescent blue-colored glossy starling. I wish I could've gotten a good photo of all the birds we saw there.

We headed back to our rooms to rest until time to go out on safari at 4PM that evening. Walking back, our friend who was staying the room just past ours said he'd just seen a monkey run off of our porch. We laughed and said, "Good thing we closed all the doors like they told us to!" But when we got in our room, we saw that the monkey had been in there, opened our tea caddy, and stolen (and spilled) packs of sugar! Turns out he'd come in a small window over the toilet, which we hadn't thought to close. How funny! So we cleaned up the spilled sugar, made ourselves some tea, and closed the window over the toilet!

One of our team members, who has been to Africa and on safari many times before, told us that morning that he wanted to be on the vehicle with us to see our reactions. As I said before, I was VERY enthusiastic about everything! I don't think I disappointed him with my excitement level.  As soon as we had set out, and I leaned forward to say,

"Hey Jeff!
(pause for response)
Guess what...
We're in AFRICA!
(another pause)
And guess what else...
We're on SAFARI!!!"
This was our view as we drove around looking for critters.
Soon, our guide found lions! LIONS!!!

Golden light, golden grass, golden lion, and I was taking pictures of two handsome lion brothers who work as a team. Big, powerful, lion brothers. They were lazing about, and almost looked cuddly. Seemed like you could just go scratch that big ol' mane and give 'em a belly rub. Jeff reminded me: that's what we'll be able to do in heaven. Can you imagine?

Eventually we moved on, saw more critters, then stopped for a "sun-downer." How lovely! A little biltong (African beef jerky), crackers, and a sparkly (non-alcoholic) beverage while we watched the sunset over the African plains. The guides even pulled out a table and tablecloth to set up for us. Unbelievable: that was the word I keep saying about everything; I just couldn't grasp that this was all really happening. It felt like a dream!

After the sunset, we loaded back up, found a big herd of buffalo, and I had the first bit of disappointment: these were not water buffalo, but cape buffalo, which meant the Veggie Tales silly song I had planned to sing was not applicable. A few of the giant hairy things stared us down, but I don't think any of them got fully into what our guide called "the death stare." That's a good thing, I'm thinking. {grin}

Just before it was completely dark, a family of elephants crossed nearby. I loved seeing the babies following along, flanked before and behind by moms or aunts or older siblings.

Soon, it was dark. No streetlights, no nearby cities, just the almost full moon. DARK.

Our guide drove the dirt road while sweeping a spotlight all around in search of a leopard (which proved to be elusive because we didn't find one). Then we came upon another set of brother lions lying right in the middle of the road! These guys had been hurt in a territory dispute with the first set of lions we saw, but our guide said they seemed to be doing better. We drove off-road to go around them, and stopped near to see them closer. Then the lion closest to us looked RIGHT at me and Ken, and our guide said (for the first time that day), "No one make any sudden movements."

Not a problem. Gulp.

After a few tense moments, the lion broke eye contact, but he did get up, and walked to the other side (MY side!) of the vehicle. This is not the best shot of the lion but let me just point out that the white part I chose not to crop out of the right side of the photo is my seat. In the very open (see sun-downer photo above!) vehicle, I might add.After that excitement, we continued back towards the lodge. The temperature dropped significantly once night fell, and I was cold, but it felt great. We saw a big eagle owl, a chameleon, and this rather large (four TON) fellow walking down the middle of the road towards us!

Our guide had turned off the vehicle, as they always did when we stopped to see an animal. But the elephant kept coming, so our guide started the vehicle and backed up a bit, to send the elephant a message that we were not going to be a problem for him. But the elephant kept coming. Our guide started the vehicle again--that is, he tried to, but it didn't start. GULP. The elephant was REALLY close at this point. So we all sat very, very still, and very, very quiet -- and did not need our guide to tell us to do so!

It took the elephant a few moments of standing close enough to touch the vehicle before he decided  what he wanted to do.

We could see him thinking, swinging his head a bit.

He opted for munching upon a nearby tree limb. We all breathed a sigh of relief. Then our guide proceeded to tell us that this elephant was in musth, which means he had raging hormones that often result in highly aggressive behavior. We watched him a bit longer before heading on our merry way.

During our lion and elephant encounters, my heart rate was certainly accelerated, but oddly enough, I wasn't afraid. I felt that God was doing all this to give me a gift beyond my wildest imagination, so I really wasn't worried about being eaten by a lion or stomped on by an elephant.

The next morning, we got up at 5AM to head out before all the animals were awake; when we saw this sunrise, we stopped and sang "How Great is Our God." Because He is!

We saw more zebras, a big bull giraffe, and more impala and kudu. Our guides tracked a lioness, but never found her. I was happy just to be driving around in the gorgeous African outdoors with my fuzzy sweatshirt and a big blanket because it was cold!

We stopped for morning tea, and had yummy biscotti and little pastries to accompany it. This next photo is of me, drinking tea on safari in Africa. That is one of the coolest sentences I have ever typed. Oh, extra cool points? The brand of tea we drank the whole time we were there (everywhere we went) was "Five Roses Tea." So I felt like I had a little bit of Rose Cottage right there with me. {grin}

Never underestimate God's power. love. tenderness. extravagance.
He is beyond our comprehension.
 

Psst!
If you'd like to see more of my photos from Africa, click on my Flickr set here.
Or click here to see the photo pool, including photos from Ken and others on our team (if they ever upload them--hint, hint!).

What a Relief!

As I've told friends, adding Lindsey to our family has been so much easier than I expected in many ways, but harder in other ways. Primarily, that harder part has been in relation to how I feel like I need to catch up on years of conversations, discipling, teaching, and just getting to know all about her. It's really overwhelming sometimes. I want her to grow into a woman who honors God in all she does. I want that for all of our children, but I feel like I'm so late getting in the game (so to speak) with Lindsey.

But then, in my time alone with God this morning, I read this verse:

"All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear." Isaiah 54:13-14a

In the verses prior to this, God is telling "poor, storm-tossed" Jerusalem that He will restore them and comfort them. That phrase "storm-tossed" makes me think of many different circumstances and many different people I know. I've even had a few storm-tossed times of my own. But in reading this verse, Lindsey immediately came to mind.

It's not really me that will teach Lindsey--or any of our other kids: It is the LORD! Sometimes He will use me, or the books and curriculum I've prayerfully chosen. He may use friends or neighbors or other family members; or maybe a message at church or a Sunday school lesson. Sometimes He will speak straight from His word. There are countless ways He can teach and speak to my children--and to me! I can't begin to fathom exactly how He will teach my children all they need to know, but He will; His thoughts and His ways are so much higher than mine (Is. 55:9)! What a relief it is to know this great burden does not lie upon my puny little shoulders! I must simply let God use me, and trust Him to teach my children, give them great peace, and establish them on a foundation of righteousness.

Celebrating Lilly

Almost two weeks ago, we helped friends celebrate the life of their precious little girl on the first anniversary of her going to heaven. Lilly was just two years old. 

Just about six months before Lilly passed on, other friends of ours lost their son Brock. Though still relatively fresh in their own grief, Drew & Nita dove right into ministering to and loving on Lilly's parents. We may empathize and grieve with them, but only a parent who has been through such a thing can truly understand. Even in Brock's death, Drew & Nita have glorified and clung to Christ; their obedience and love humble and amaze me. 

Lilly's parents have done the same: glorified and clung to Jesus even through the most painful of times. Lilly's daddy was baptized about six months ago, and they felt strongly about sharing the message of Christ in a loving way at Lilly's memorial. All those people there, sitting on blankets under a huge oak tree, hearing the gospel of Jesus presented by their (and our) friend and pastor. Amazing. 

After this, they had a time of singing songs like "How Great is Our God," "Amazing Grace," and "Jesus Loves Me." At the request of Lilly's parents, guests had brought stones to place around a tree planted in her honor.  This is sweet little Lilly, her photo printed on a garden flag next to the tree; her parents are in the background, singing songs of praise to God. 

Balloons were passed around so that we could release them in Lilly's honor. But before we released them, we walked down to the lake, then gathered around her mom and dad to pray for them.

We released the balloons, sending our prayers heavenward with them.

Thank you to Brock and Lilly's parents for setting such an example of faith as they live out the rest of their days here on earth, knowing that these two sweet children are with Jesus. Only the Lord knows how many days we have ordained on this earth. I pray that we will all remember to make the most of each and every moment, and that we will trust in the Lord, knowing that although we may not understand the whys, God's ways are higher than our ways. (Isaiah 55:9)

Every Day

“Relying on God has to begin 
all over again every day
as if nothing had yet been done.” 
C.S. Lewis

Ain't that the truth! I spent too long wandering far off the path God had for me, but there was never a day I woke up and said, "Today is the day I'll stop following God and do my own thing!" It started small and seemingly innocent--but that first small decision that took me a tiny step off God's path made subsequent sinful choices easier, and eventually the little things became bigger and bigger. As one of my favorite songs says, "People never crumble in a day; it's a slow fade."

I've learned that every morning I have a decision to make: who am I going to follow today? I've trusted the Lord with my salvation, and with my day to day life, but in order to keep my focus where it needs to be, I have to recommit each morning. Before I even get out of bed in the morning, I start with a quick prayer of Psalm 118:24: "This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it," and I tell God (and myself!) that I submit myself anew to Him today. At night before I go to sleep, I ask the Lord to "wake me up in the morning, and open my ears to listen as one ready to take orders." (Isaiah 50:4 MSG) Of course, spending time alone with God each day, and spending time in the Word each day are also essential, but I saw the biggest difference in my spiritual life just when I began that very brief prayer each morning to set the tone for my whole day.

Find more "In Other Words" here today.

Overwhelmed

For some reason, it seems that lately I've been receiving praise for things I've been doing, and I'm not entirely sure how to process it. I don't ever want it to morph into how great I am, but I do want to let my light shine so that others may see and praise my Father in heaven. That's a hard, weird balance because I do want others to see what He is doing through me -- and THAT's exactly the point: it is GOD doing it through me. 

What I wish, I suppose, is that everyone who hears about these good works could know how amazing it is that God is using me, of all people. I'm nothing but a cracked clay pot. But now I have great treasure (Jesus Christ) inside me. I am so unworthy of the praise I receive. It's difficult to know how much to share about my past, but suffice it to say that I was NOT walking with Christ; I lived life with my hands (figuratively) over my ears so I didn't have to hear God's voice. But the wonderful, amazing, glorious thing is that Jesus reached right down and pulled me out of the muck of my life. It seems that the greater I realize the depth of my previous depravity, the greater things He chooses to do with my life. He is redeeming the time I wasted. I am utterly overwhelmed by His mercy.

A Small Epiphany

This is one of those being real kind of posts. I try to be real in all my posts, but some are just narratives about events and such, so there's not much "being real" to be done.

For the past three weeks or so, my tummy has been rather persnickety. It always tends to be a little sensitive, so I do have to watch what I eat: how much coffee I drink, how much cheese/milk I have, and greasy foods never like me much. It's been extra-sensitive lately, and I was beginning to get discouraged, thinking I'd have to eliminate the small amount coffee I drink (it's even decaf!), our occasional Moose Tracks ice cream nights, anything cheesy, and so on, just like I did back when I had an ulcer at age seventeen. But on Sunday, when I was having issues with my tummy yet again, I had a small epiphany: it's stress.

It was only about five years ago that I figured out the correlation between my tummy issues and stress. Sometimes it was a big no-brainer because I had some seriously stressful stuff going on, but even little short-term things affect it. As soon as Ken and I would be getting ready to go teach dance lessons, for instance, I'd be needing to run to the bathroom... but as soon as we got there and got started, everything was totally fine. I can name a bunch of different scenarios where this is the case, even if I don't actually "feel" stressed. My tummy lets me know.

So I spent a little time thinking, and praying, to figure out what the issue(s) may be, and came up with a few answers...

One: flying to Botswana.
Over. The. Ocean.
I honestly could just cry thinking about it. My friend Angela said her husband wants them to go on a mission trip to Africa, and she has some fears about it. She asked me how I got over my fears so I could go on this trip. I told her I haven't, but I know God will take me through it, and being afraid just isn't a good enough reason not to go. I know this fear is not from the Lord. But it's still fear; just the recent realization that I'm most likely going to have to get out of my seat and go pee at some point during our really long flight made me want to hyperventilate.

Two: Before we head to Africa (in less than a month!), I have a lot to do, and not much time to do it. Like preparing for the session I'm teaching (then there's the whole standing in front of a bunch of strangers while I'm IN ANOTHER COUNTRY to teach the thing!), and going over the materials for the conference we'll be assisting with. I have to familiarize myself with Lindsey's school books and make sure she gets her summer work done. I have to dive into all Kathryn's curriculum stuff and prepare weekly lesson plans. Oh, and I still have to write up her end-of-year summary to keep on file from our 2nd grade school year. I need to organize our school stuff. And the list goes on...

Three: We're adjusting to life with an instant teenager. There are several aspects to this one.
It really is going much better than I could have imagined, but there are things that stress me, like all the 14+ years of mother-daughter conversations I've missed out on. Kathryn is only eight, but we've already had numerous conversations about big things like purity and modesty and living out an authentic Christian life, and a million conversations about smaller things. So I'll imagine the beginnings of these conversations in my head (I do that about a bunch of things!) but I think if I start, I might not be able to stop the words tumbling out of my mouth like some sort of verbal avalanche; I picture Ken coming home from work one day to find Lindsey huddled in a corner of her room because I babbled five or so years worth of conversations in one afternoon.

Then there's the whole challenge of how to homeschool a child I don't really know well (yet), as far as learning styles and how to help her through frustrations and so on. She seems like she is genuinely doing well with all the changes and stresses in her own life, but I wonder if she'll talk to us about it if she is feeling sad about things.

Kathryn is working through some adjustments as well. She loves Lindsey and is very glad to have her as a sister, but she hasn't learned how to handle little sibling sorts of challenges. For instance, Lindsey used one of Kathryn's ponytail holders, and Kathryn didn't mind but wanted Lindsey to ask first. Kathryn says she feels embarrassed to talk to Lindsey abou things like that, so she wants me to run interference. Kathryn sometimes feels left out of things, too, like when she has to go to bed and Lindsey gets to stay up a little longer. It's just a matter of Kathryn having no experience with a sibling. Brandon is so much older, and a boy, and has never spent long periods of time here, so it's totally different. I'm trying to find a balance of helping Kathryn learn how to be a sister, helping both girls to understand each other better, and trying not to make either of them feel that I'm favoring the other.

After my little epiphany, and my acknowledgement of the stress I've been feeling, I picked up a book I'd been meaning to read: Reaping the Harvest by Diana Waring. It's about homeschooling--and appreciating--teenagers. In the introduction, the author makes life with her homeschooled teens sound wonderful. I almost didn't continue reading because I expected to get discouraged about the things I've missed, and I was feeling a bit alone in this because there just aren't that many folks that adopt and then homeschool a teenager. I did continue reading, though, and God used this book to let me know I'm not alone! You see, the first part of the first chapter is about a family with one homeschooled child who decided to adopt one more child, and ended up adopting that one plus her three teenage siblings! Not only did they have the same challenges we have, but more, since these kids were from Russia and barely spoke any English.

After I read those first few pages, I set that book down with tears in my eyes and prayed a big prayer of thankfulness. I gave all my concerns back to Him, assured that not only can He handle it all, but also that He DOES care about every single thing in our lives and He is indeed in ALL the details.