As a kid, I was one of the most devout fans of Santa Claus you'd find, and I believed (really believed, didn't just pretend to believe so I'd still get the goods) wholeheartedly in him 'til much older than my friends and classmates. If I thought of a problem with the practicality of Santa--like how'd he get all the dollhouses for all the girls in the world all loaded up on one sleigh-- I'd think hard on it til I came up with a sound solution. When the kids at school denounced him, I defended him. I was not easily dissuaded.
I don't remember the thought process that brought me to this decision, but one day when I was about nine years old, I very somberly asked my mother to promise to tell me the truth because I had a Very Important Question. She said she would, so I asked: Is Santa real? She told me the truth, and proceeded to tell me about the spirit of Christmas and so forth. I thanked her for telling me the truth, and she thought I took it pretty well. But later, she found me sobbing in my room, squeezed between my bed and the wall. I was heartbroken, grief-stricken; I had lost a dear friend, the world as I knew it had suddenly changed, and those closest to me had been lying to me for years. It sounds a little melodramatic now, but that is genuinely how I felt.
Because of that experience, I never wanted to do the Santa thing. I didn't want my children to feel betrayed like that (though I know my parents meant well!). But it's suprisingly hard to keep Santa out of the picture when friends & relatives start asking what Santa is bringing and all that, so for a little while, I half-heartedly went along with it. I have one photo of Kathryn on Santa's knee, when she was two. We never went again. We never wrote letters to Santa or any of that.
In the following years, I didn't encourage the Santa charade, but I didn't completely discourage it; I was still deciding how to handle it. Then, for the first time in my life, I met people who were completely anti-Santa, and although I didn't --and still don't-- agree that you can't celebrate the Christ part of Christmas if Santa is involved, I did realize that there are some things we tend to teach about Santa that conflict with what we teach about God. For instance, if Santa sees you when you're sleeping, and knows if you've been bad or good, then that means God is NOT the only omniscient being; Santa is, too. And if God doesn't grant all our requests like a genie in a bottle, then Santa sounds a whole lot better because he brings us the things on our wish list, and all we have to do is "try" to be good, at least in December. (But even the bad kids got most of what they wished for!)
Then there's the just plain practical point of understanding that Santa isn't the one who has to pay for the loot. I want Kathryn to understand the value of money, and of priorities as to where we spend it and how much we spend.
Still being wishy-washy because of the friends and family who thought I was mean and horrible if I did away with Santa, I tried some compromises, like the rule that Santa only brings three gifts because Jesus got three gifts from the Wise Men. But last year I decided to formally end the charade. It was not a big shock to Kathryn because I'd been hinting at it for a few years. I found two lovely books to help explain things, both of which would allow for continuing the Santa thing if you REALLY wanted to, but put more of Christian spin on it and tell the story of the real Nicholas and how the legend of Santa got started. Kathryn kept saying things, though, that sounded like she still believed in Santa, so one day I asked her flat out. She said (smiling), "I KNOW, but I like to pretend!" We clarified that this was the case with the Tooth Fairy as well (and we never did anything with the Easter Bunny so that was irrelevant).
So now, we pretend that Santa comes, and we have had some really funny exchanges over the Tooth Fairy being stuck in traffic (since I fell asleep and totally forgot to do the tooth/money swap one night), and we're all happy with it. She still gets presents from "Santa" and Ken still gets to eat cookies and eggnog left out the night before. It's a win-win situation! (And please don't send hate mail! I do not think badly of you if you still do the Santa thing! That's why this post is called "Thoughts on Santa" -- it's just my thoughts.)
(If interested, those books I mentioned are: Mommy, Was Santa Claus Born on Christmas, Too? and Santa, Are You for Real?)
I don't remember the thought process that brought me to this decision, but one day when I was about nine years old, I very somberly asked my mother to promise to tell me the truth because I had a Very Important Question. She said she would, so I asked: Is Santa real? She told me the truth, and proceeded to tell me about the spirit of Christmas and so forth. I thanked her for telling me the truth, and she thought I took it pretty well. But later, she found me sobbing in my room, squeezed between my bed and the wall. I was heartbroken, grief-stricken; I had lost a dear friend, the world as I knew it had suddenly changed, and those closest to me had been lying to me for years. It sounds a little melodramatic now, but that is genuinely how I felt.
Because of that experience, I never wanted to do the Santa thing. I didn't want my children to feel betrayed like that (though I know my parents meant well!). But it's suprisingly hard to keep Santa out of the picture when friends & relatives start asking what Santa is bringing and all that, so for a little while, I half-heartedly went along with it. I have one photo of Kathryn on Santa's knee, when she was two. We never went again. We never wrote letters to Santa or any of that.
In the following years, I didn't encourage the Santa charade, but I didn't completely discourage it; I was still deciding how to handle it. Then, for the first time in my life, I met people who were completely anti-Santa, and although I didn't --and still don't-- agree that you can't celebrate the Christ part of Christmas if Santa is involved, I did realize that there are some things we tend to teach about Santa that conflict with what we teach about God. For instance, if Santa sees you when you're sleeping, and knows if you've been bad or good, then that means God is NOT the only omniscient being; Santa is, too. And if God doesn't grant all our requests like a genie in a bottle, then Santa sounds a whole lot better because he brings us the things on our wish list, and all we have to do is "try" to be good, at least in December. (But even the bad kids got most of what they wished for!)
Then there's the just plain practical point of understanding that Santa isn't the one who has to pay for the loot. I want Kathryn to understand the value of money, and of priorities as to where we spend it and how much we spend.Still being wishy-washy because of the friends and family who thought I was mean and horrible if I did away with Santa, I tried some compromises, like the rule that Santa only brings three gifts because Jesus got three gifts from the Wise Men. But last year I decided to formally end the charade. It was not a big shock to Kathryn because I'd been hinting at it for a few years. I found two lovely books to help explain things, both of which would allow for continuing the Santa thing if you REALLY wanted to, but put more of Christian spin on it and tell the story of the real Nicholas and how the legend of Santa got started. Kathryn kept saying things, though, that sounded like she still believed in Santa, so one day I asked her flat out. She said (smiling), "I KNOW, but I like to pretend!" We clarified that this was the case with the Tooth Fairy as well (and we never did anything with the Easter Bunny so that was irrelevant).
So now, we pretend that Santa comes, and we have had some really funny exchanges over the Tooth Fairy being stuck in traffic (since I fell asleep and totally forgot to do the tooth/money swap one night), and we're all happy with it. She still gets presents from "Santa" and Ken still gets to eat cookies and eggnog left out the night before. It's a win-win situation! (And please don't send hate mail! I do not think badly of you if you still do the Santa thing! That's why this post is called "Thoughts on Santa" -- it's just my thoughts.)
(If interested, those books I mentioned are: Mommy, Was Santa Claus Born on Christmas, Too? and Santa, Are You for Real?)
