I know bloggers all over the world use pseudonyms or nicknames instead of their children's real names, and I understand the desire to protect them, but it just doesn't feel natural to me. I have considered whether or not what I'm doing is safe, but the fact of the matter is that if someone is intent on evil, they wouldn't need a blog to find us. I can't speak (or blog) honestly if I'm always vague about the area where I live; if I used pseudonyms for extended family, I'd totally forget which name was for who; and if I couldn't post photos, then I wouldn't enjoy blogging at all. I would just stop blogging before I'd do all that. That's how I feel, but please know that if you are a more anonymous sort of blogger, I am absolutely not bashing you or your blog!
Now I've learned that I won't be legally allowed to post photos of "L" until her adoption is final, and the very earliest that could be is about February of 2010. A blog friend of mine always had her boys looking away, or with their faces behind a globe, or something like that, and I didn't know why, but I know her kids were adopted so I'm guessing now that was the reason (though I never really thought to ask). So although I'm sure we'll take hundreds of fabulous photos, you won't see her face until sometime next year--unless, of course, you know me in real life.
And then there's the issue of her name. I refuse to type quotation marks around an initial for the next seven months or more, and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to share her name... so, for the purposes of this blog, I've settled on calling her Anne--like Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables, who was also an adopted girl. (We love that book! And the movie!)
Now, on with the update.
We met Anne yesterday, and all of us expected to feel really awkward about it. Her caseworker drove her out to meet us. We arrived first, so we had a few minutes to wait. When she walked in the door, I wasn't sure how to greet her: would a hug be too pushy, would a handshake be too formal? But she came in and hugged us all right away. Kathryn had drawn a picture for her: a big grassy field that took up more than half of the bottom of the page that she said represented all the hard times Anne had been through. Then she had drawn a rainbow to represent God, and a cloud at the end of the rainbow that represented our family. Anne was a bluebird flying close to the rainbow towards the cloud. Kathryn didn't explain all that to Anne yesterday, but when she told me about it at home before we went, I felt it was one of those times that God speaks to me through Kathryn (and I got a little teary-eyed!).
We all sat down: Ken and Kathryn and I on the sofa, Anne and the two caseworkers each in a chair. Anne scooted over and told Kathryn she could come sit by her, and Kathryn was delighted to do so. They were instantly like two peas in a pod, and even look like they could be biological sisters. Anne loves babies and kids, babysits often, and misses her eight-year-old brother (adopted separately).
We were all eager to talk, but didn't know where to start. What all do you try to cover in the first conversation with someone who may soon become part of your family? Since her whole world will be changing if she joins our family, the caseworkers encouraged us to tell her what life in our world would be like. So we told her about our home, our neighbors, our family, our church, our dog, our business, and anything else we could think of. She was active in the conversation, and after we'd all been chatting for a while, she said she really likes us and feels really comfortable with us. We felt the same way.
Anne is already taller than me, and will soon be taller than Ken. She's slim and pretty, and has long, straight hair which is currently about the color of Kathryn's, but is naturally blond (she colors it). We were pleasantly surprised that she is open to the idea of homeschooling, if we get approval from the state to enroll her in a hybrid program at our church. (It's officially considered homeschooling, but is an accredited program where the kids attend two days/week and work independently at home the other three days.) Our caseworker is a homeschool graduate herself, so she is very encouraging and is working--along with Anne's caseworker--to get that approval. Even if Anne ends up having to attend public school for the coming school year, we know the Lord is taking care of her. After the adoption is final, we can choose whatever schooling option we think best.
When Ken and I were talking last night, we both felt that we could not have requested or scripted a better meeting. We felt God in every part of it, right down to the details, which are too numerous to even name here. Anne and her caseworker prayed together before they came into the meeting, asking the Lord to take away the awkwardness but the leave the excitement, and He did just that. Anne's decision to be adopted came after she released her hope of eventually being reunited with her parents. At 14, she has the right to choose whether she wants to remain in foster care until she's 18, or to be adopted permanently. She told us she'd been talking to her counselor about it, and praying about it, and now feels very sure that she wants to be adopted.
Though we were talking for two hours, the time flew by. There were lots of hugs when we left, and we asked our caseworker take a photo of all of us together. I can't share it yet, but it will be scrapbook material, despite the fact that it's blurry and I have a double chin. {smile}
Anne's caseworker suggested having our next visit this Saturday, but her foster home is nearly two hours away, and we have a wedding to photograph that evening, so it wouldn't work. Just a little while ago, I called her foster mother to schedule a time, so on Tuesday we'll plan to drive out and take Anne to lunch and hang out for a while. We'll try to squeeze in another visit next Friday or Saturday, and hope to have our first overnight visit the last weekend of this month, but we're still working out details. If all continues to go smoothly, she will move in with us sometime in July!
Now I've learned that I won't be legally allowed to post photos of "L" until her adoption is final, and the very earliest that could be is about February of 2010. A blog friend of mine always had her boys looking away, or with their faces behind a globe, or something like that, and I didn't know why, but I know her kids were adopted so I'm guessing now that was the reason (though I never really thought to ask). So although I'm sure we'll take hundreds of fabulous photos, you won't see her face until sometime next year--unless, of course, you know me in real life.
And then there's the issue of her name. I refuse to type quotation marks around an initial for the next seven months or more, and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to share her name... so, for the purposes of this blog, I've settled on calling her Anne--like Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables, who was also an adopted girl. (We love that book! And the movie!)
Now, on with the update.
We met Anne yesterday, and all of us expected to feel really awkward about it. Her caseworker drove her out to meet us. We arrived first, so we had a few minutes to wait. When she walked in the door, I wasn't sure how to greet her: would a hug be too pushy, would a handshake be too formal? But she came in and hugged us all right away. Kathryn had drawn a picture for her: a big grassy field that took up more than half of the bottom of the page that she said represented all the hard times Anne had been through. Then she had drawn a rainbow to represent God, and a cloud at the end of the rainbow that represented our family. Anne was a bluebird flying close to the rainbow towards the cloud. Kathryn didn't explain all that to Anne yesterday, but when she told me about it at home before we went, I felt it was one of those times that God speaks to me through Kathryn (and I got a little teary-eyed!).
We all sat down: Ken and Kathryn and I on the sofa, Anne and the two caseworkers each in a chair. Anne scooted over and told Kathryn she could come sit by her, and Kathryn was delighted to do so. They were instantly like two peas in a pod, and even look like they could be biological sisters. Anne loves babies and kids, babysits often, and misses her eight-year-old brother (adopted separately).
We were all eager to talk, but didn't know where to start. What all do you try to cover in the first conversation with someone who may soon become part of your family? Since her whole world will be changing if she joins our family, the caseworkers encouraged us to tell her what life in our world would be like. So we told her about our home, our neighbors, our family, our church, our dog, our business, and anything else we could think of. She was active in the conversation, and after we'd all been chatting for a while, she said she really likes us and feels really comfortable with us. We felt the same way.
Anne is already taller than me, and will soon be taller than Ken. She's slim and pretty, and has long, straight hair which is currently about the color of Kathryn's, but is naturally blond (she colors it). We were pleasantly surprised that she is open to the idea of homeschooling, if we get approval from the state to enroll her in a hybrid program at our church. (It's officially considered homeschooling, but is an accredited program where the kids attend two days/week and work independently at home the other three days.) Our caseworker is a homeschool graduate herself, so she is very encouraging and is working--along with Anne's caseworker--to get that approval. Even if Anne ends up having to attend public school for the coming school year, we know the Lord is taking care of her. After the adoption is final, we can choose whatever schooling option we think best.
When Ken and I were talking last night, we both felt that we could not have requested or scripted a better meeting. We felt God in every part of it, right down to the details, which are too numerous to even name here. Anne and her caseworker prayed together before they came into the meeting, asking the Lord to take away the awkwardness but the leave the excitement, and He did just that. Anne's decision to be adopted came after she released her hope of eventually being reunited with her parents. At 14, she has the right to choose whether she wants to remain in foster care until she's 18, or to be adopted permanently. She told us she'd been talking to her counselor about it, and praying about it, and now feels very sure that she wants to be adopted.
Though we were talking for two hours, the time flew by. There were lots of hugs when we left, and we asked our caseworker take a photo of all of us together. I can't share it yet, but it will be scrapbook material, despite the fact that it's blurry and I have a double chin. {smile}
Anne's caseworker suggested having our next visit this Saturday, but her foster home is nearly two hours away, and we have a wedding to photograph that evening, so it wouldn't work. Just a little while ago, I called her foster mother to schedule a time, so on Tuesday we'll plan to drive out and take Anne to lunch and hang out for a while. We'll try to squeeze in another visit next Friday or Saturday, and hope to have our first overnight visit the last weekend of this month, but we're still working out details. If all continues to go smoothly, she will move in with us sometime in July!
