Our car is not one of those aerodynamic, super-quiet vehicles that just float down the road. Ours has quite a lot of road noise, so it's very difficult to have a proper conversation. Talking to someone not sitting directly next to you requires yelling. (Maybe we need a megaphone.) This led to Lindsey commenting while riding in the car recently, "I gave up trying to talk to y'all in the car like three years ago!" She (like me) tends to use hyperbole. [That sentence is really just an excuse to use one of my favorite words; "hyperbole" just does not get used often enough!] Obviously Lindsey's statement was an exaggeration because we didn't even know her three years ago. That's so weird: this is my teenage daughter I'm talking about, but I didn't know her three years ago. I didn't even know her one year ago.I've said it before: adoption is wonderful, but it's also weird. There are emotions and plain ol' practical things that go along with it that really just don't exist outside of adoption.
In my quiet time this morning, I was thinking about things, and praying for people God laid on my heart, including two families we know who both lost a child within the past two years. The anniversary of two-year-old Brock's going to be with Jesus was this past Sunday, and I started thinking more about something his dad (Drew) said that day: Drew talked about grief mixed with joy; mourning Brock, but celebrating their new baby Lila Jane. Such conflicting feelings at the same time. It's not the first time I've thought how difficult that would be.
But this morning, I realized that Lindsey experiences that mix of grief and joy on some level, too. Just as little Lila Jane doesn't replace Brock, we aren't replacing Lindsey's birth mom and dad. She loves us, and she is happy to have a "real" family (her words), but that doesn't mean her other family didn't exist. Adopting her into our family did not erase her past -- and it shouldn't! Even though her original family had troubles big enough to result in her being removed from the home, the memories aren't all bad. And they are part of what makes Lindsey who she is.
Back when we began to consider adoption, the thought of adopting a young child appealed to me, and I believe that's because I reasoned that a young child wouldn't have so many memories. I thought they wouldn't, or couldn't, love us as much if they remembered their birth parents. I thought the memories would be too painful for them, and maybe for me, too. I believe this is the reason many potential adoptive parents are afraid to adopt any child older than an infant. I've been told "you've gotta get 'em young" so as not to have trouble with them. But it's just not true. I think perhaps Lindsey loves us more than she would have if she'd been born to us because she knows we have chosen to love her and to become her parents. God truly can redeem anything. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Two:
Lindsey is a very personable girl, and chatted with everyone there. She and Jenifer's two teenage daughters are already friends, and she hit it off with another sweet teenage girl at last night's party, too. It's so neat when your kids become friends with your friends' kids! All these girls are homeschooled, too, so I think that's helping Lindsey get more and more comfortable with the concept. I don't think she'd ever known any homeschoolers until she moved here, so she probably thought we'd all be pretty weird! {grin}
We all socialized, ate plenty of yummy brownies (and a little fruit!), and we went around the group sharing a bit about questions on strips of paper we'd randomly chosen -- some were deep and heartfelt, and some were just plain funny, like Joanna's tale of hitting a skunk when driving to her first date with her now-husband! My question was, "What is your best summer memory?" At first, I racked my brain to think of something from years past, but then I realized my answer would be this summer, when Lindsey became our daughter. Lindsey's question was, "If you could change your name, what would it be?" She said she wouldn't change her first name because that was the first gift she'd ever been given, but that she'll be happy when she gets to change her last name to ours.
The timing of this was perfect, as was everything God orchestrates. We had that beautiful celebration on Sunday at Lindsey's former church, so everyone could love on her and tell her goodbye. Then later that same week, this celebration, so everyone could love on her and tell her welcome!
"D" is Lindsey's bosom friend, as Anne Shirley would say. They've known each other since they were little, even before either of them came into foster care, and have shared the same room in their foster home. No longer being together has been hard on them both, particularly for D, I think. They'll keep in touch, but it'll be different than living in the same home.
Saying goodbye was hard, and there were many tears shed, but this send-off was a great way to show Lindsey that everyone here loves her, supports her, is praying for her, and wishes the best for her.
We went walking down the long driveway to meet the horses. Twister really liked Anne, and probably would have followed her around like a puppy all day. 
By the time we got back to the house, we were really hot and oh-so-ready for some tasty homemade ice cream!
Yesterday we took Anne to get the rest of her belongings from her foster home. I think the whole day was rather bittersweet for her. Mostly happy, because she is very excited about being adopted by us, but saying goodbye to her foster mom and the other girls there was harder than she expected. She also had her last visit with her current therapist--one she loves dearly--and they said a tearful goodbye. (She'll be transferring to a therapist closer to us). All this happened because tomorrow we sign the "Intent to Adopt" papers that mean she is officially in our custody now, though the state still considers her a foster child until her adoption is finalized, something we hope to happen before the end of this year. Things are going really well, but she could use prayers as she makes this big transition in her life, and we could use prayers for wisdom and discernment in how to help her and support her, as well as how to best parent a teenager we're just getting to know.
We're hoping to sign Intent to Adopt papers in the next week or two, then she'll officially move in. We did get some good news this week: the powers that be said 
After our guests left, we took our first family photo with all the kids. Brandon and his girlfriend Diane stayed a while and we all played charades til Kathryn had to go to bed. Brandon, Diane, and Anne all chatted about movies and amusement parks, and all manner of teenager things. It did my heart good to see them all getting along so well. I think she is beginning to feel like part of the family. It really is an odd sort of limbo we're in right now; since she hasn't moved in yet, it feels sort of like she's a guest... but then again, we'll soon be her parents, so we're all sort of figuring out how to do this. It was wonderful to spend more time with Diane, too; she could someday be our daughter-in-law, so we'd like to get to know her as well as possible!
Anne currently shares a room with two other teen girls, so we know she's looking forward to having her own room, and we want to make it special. Perhaps we've seen a bit too much HGTV, but Ken and Kathryn and I really like the idea of surprising Anne with a totally decorated room. We already had a twin-size antique bed in the playroom, and I emptied out a dresser (full of scrapbooking stuff I should've cleaned out ages ago!) to use in her room. My mom gave us a spare bedside table that was just the right size. A friend gave us a mirror to hang over the dresser. My cousin Tia gave us a lime green butterfly chair she'd never used, as well as a lime green faux fur throw. I ordered a brown and cream zebra-print quilt from Walmart online (not available in the store), and painted the walls a lavender color. At Target, I bought a set of sheets in a slightly lighter green I'd call more apple than lime, and a faux silk balloon shade in pale green. I found a lamp base at Walmart that is curvy black metal and mimics the zebra pattern without actually being a zebra-print lamp. We brought in more bright colors with a lime green magnetic wipe board to hang on her closet door, a purple beaded lamp shade, and a hot pink picture frame. When we're all here this weekend, we'll take a family photo to put in there. The stained wood furniture and the black in the mirror and lamp keep the bright colors grounded, and the wall color is bright enough but still calming--essential for a bedroom, in my opinion. (The color is correct in all three photos; the walls just look different based on how the sun is shining.)
I never would have thought I'd like a room with bright colors and zebra print, but I do; it just feels happy and has personality. I love that it is partially made up of gifts from friends and family, which creates instant "history" (the same reason I've always loved antique furniture).