One Tough Question

Yesterday, I read a fabulous post by Kristen at We are THAT Family. I highly encourage you to read about her trip to Africa, but in short, the part of that post that hit me was this:

So. This week, I got up the nerve and asked God, "Why do you allow poverty, suffering, and injustice when You could do something about it.”

And He asked me the same question.

I'm working on the answer.

Me, too.

Not Your Ordinary Necklace

Aren't these necklaces great?

Last week, we hosted Beth from a ministry called God is Grace ( I wrote more about the ministry here) and invited a handful of friends who wanted to know more about the ministry.  Soft-hearted Lindsey was in tears the whole time Beth talked, and while we watched the video, seeing the village where these women live, what their "kitchen" looks like, hearing how most of the women are widows or have been abandoned by their husbands, and yet still care for their own children -- as well as orphans in the community -- and seeing how happy and thankful they are for so little. Lindsey and Kathryn both asked if we could sponsor a woman. Ken and I let the girls choose which woman to sponsor, and they chose a widow named Conslata who cares for seven children; two of her own, plus five orphans.

There is more than one way to live out God's command to care for widows and orphans (James 1:27); we believe this is one of the many ways we can do that. Beth is still looking for sponsors for a few other women in Zambia; if you're interested in helping, or making a one-time contribution, I'd be happy to put you in contact with Beth.

Beth brought a bag of beautiful necklaces, and let each of us choose one to keep. Mine is the colorful one on the right. Lindsey's is similar. Kathryn chose a smaller, mostly darker blue one, and then I bought the one on the left as a gift for my mom. These necklaces are great for several reasons: they benefit the women in Uganda who make them, they are beautiful, and they are made of recycled paper! Yep, those beads are all made of tightly rolled paper, and then shellacked. Want one?

You can buy your own necklace here, and they'd make awesome birthday/mother's day/holiday gifts!

Welcome 2010: Resolutions and Reminiscing

I am spending a happily relaxing first day of the new year thinking about goals, reminiscing over the events of 2009, and wondering what God has in store for us in 2010.

My Good Reads in 2009 came to a nice round number of forty, and I welcome suggestions to add to my want-to-read list for 2010!

Many bloggers share their "top posts" of the year, but I'm just going to sum up the highlights of 2009, and give links in case you're interested in reading more, or in case you missed it the first time around. This was a VERY big year for us:

• Kathryn performed as a munchkin in Wizard of Oz.
• I enjoyed a wonderful homeschool mom's retreat.
• We did quite a few household projects, like building a back porch, and repainting the kitchen.
  
• Brandon graduated high school and started college.
• Lacy the WonderDog won an "Easter Bling" contest on twitter.
• We hatched, studied, and released butterflies and praying mantises.
• My Grandaddy went to be with Jesus.
  
• We did some fun field trips, like to the Tellus Museum, the Atlanta History Center, and a weekend at Biltmore Estate.
• We went to Africa! This was my first mission trip, my first time out of the country, the first time I experienced jet-lag, the first time I saw true poverty, and a whole bunch of other firsts rolled into one. My eyes were opened in so many ways.
• We became the parents of a 14-year-old daughter.
  
• God provided the opportunity to share our adoption story to a very large audience at church (the link goes to the video of our testimony).
• My cousin Matthew got married, and now he and his wife are expecting a little one! 
  

As far as resolutions go, Robin Sampson and I have apparently been thinking along the same lines. Her Resolution for 2010 is to let the law of kindness reign in her home. I want that, too. I want to be an encourager, a life-giver. I am borrowing Robin's prayer (slightly modified since I don't yet have grandkids!).  I encourage you to read her post for the full explanation:

"Father, Let Your loving kindness and mercy flow through me on my tongue, in my manners to my husband and children. Help me be sympathetic, gentle, friendly, tender-hearted, and generous in all my ways."

Another resolution I'm making is to be more fun.  I don't dance around the kitchen when I'm cooking; I'd prefer to organize something rather than go for a walk with the family; I don't love playing games; I tend to be a homebody and really get grumpy if we have what I consider too many places to go. Maybe that seems a bit silly, especially in comparison to the resolution about being kinder, but it's more than that. There are too many times when I'm a party-pooper for my family. The real goal is to make a point of enjoying time with my family and creating pleasant memories for us all. 

I also have the standard get in shape resolution. It's really not related to the new year, but I finally have the upstairs room organized and cleaned up, so I'm running out of excuses to not exercise (since that's where I do it). I don't need to lose weight, but I am in lousy shape as far as endurance and cardiovascular fitness go. That sets a poor example for my kids, and if I don't have energy, then I can't do all I'm called to do as wife, homeschooling mama, and servant of Christ.

My homeschool-related resolution is to keep spiritual growth as our number one priority, and remember that academics are secondary. Important, yes, but not nearly as important as their walk with Christ.

I am so thankful for the blessings and challenges of 2009, and I happily welcome 2010! Happy New Year, everybody!

Too important to forget...

Recently, I was reminded of something very important. Love is a choice.

This is something I know deep inside. I've learned it the hard way, written about it, talked about it. But in the midst of day-to-day difficulties, it is frighteningly easy to become distracted from such an important truth.

You see, God chose to send His Son to earth to die for my sins. Then Jesus chose to die an agonizing and humiliating death on the cross, a punishment reserved for the worst of criminals, in order to save my soul. It was my sins that nailed Him there. He would've done it even if I was the only person that needed saving. He could've refused. But He made a choice to love me that much because He is LOVE.

And so, I owe it to Him to choose to love.

That applies to marriage, and not just when we feel head-over-heels in love. This is something that has to be in action all the time.

In a blended family like ours, remembering this is even more important. Only one of my children grew within my womb, under my heart. Only one was nursed by me, in that tender bond between baby and mother. I loved her from the moment of conception, and I knew the very day that occurred. By the time she was born, I was deeply in love with her. Since that time, I have held her when she cried, comforted her when no one else can, and kissed my fair share of boo-boos. Our bond goes deep.

I didn't know my other two children until they were teens. One is already an adult. He has never needed me to kiss a boo-boo or hug him when he was sad. It is only in the past few months that I've done anything "motherly" for him, though those acts have simply been things like doing his laundry or making sure he wakes up in time for class. I love him, but it is a different kind of love, and it's unfair to compare one type of love to another. I've often heard parents say that they love each child differently, but they don't love one more than another. This is new to me, but I am learning.

My other child has been in my life for only about six months. Already, I have held her when she cried; I have comforted her and stroked her hair and told her I love her; I've been working to earn her trust, all while learning to trust her. This is yet another kind of love. One can't be compared to the other. But they all have something in common: I must make a choice daily to love even when it's hard. Because love is hard. In this instance, "hard" is defined as difficult, tough, challenging, baffling, strenuous, and sometimes uncomfortable.

But I want to love hard, and in this case "hard" is defined as truly, undeniably, mightily, conscientiously, zealously, doggedly, wholeheartedly, and enthusiastically (which, by the way, means "inspired by God").

In challenges we face daily, it can be very easy to forget -- but this is far too important. This commitment to love has to come anew each day, just like the decision to follow Christ every day. As for me and my house -- and my heart -- we will serve the Lord, and we can do that by choosing to love hard.

Our Thankful Tree

Can you believe just one week from today is Thanksgiving!?!?

With that in mind, we're trying to be intentional about giving thanks. One great way to do that is to work on thinking of things we're thankful for, and putting them somewhere to remind ourselves -- and each other! Last year, I had an idea about cutting out leaf shapes and letting friends and family write things they are thankful, and collecting them in a basket, but... I didn't follow through. So when I saw Kris' idea to do a thankful tree, I knew we had to do it, too!For ours, Kathryn helped me roll out white paper to cover the inside of our front door. We taped it on, then I drew a tree with a brown marker. I filled in the sky with just a little scribble of crayon (which you probably can't see in the photos). Kathryn and I found a few leaves in our yard, and I traced them on construction paper. She helped me cut them out, and we put the blank leaves in one of the baskets I bought in Botswana (love it!). A fine-point Sharpie marker and a roll of clear tape sit nearby.When a "thankful" pops into mind, we grab a paper leaf, write on it, and tape it on our tree. Any guests who come by are required to add to our tree, too.
We have quite a wide variety of thankful things on our tree...Some of our thankful leaves say:

• tea -- the girls and I each have one that says this!
• cheese -- Lindsey
• lots of games -- Kathryn
• our home and everything in it -- me
  
• for being homeschooled -- Kathryn
• our church family -- me
• beds and blankets -- Kathryn
• good health -- me
• Mac [computer] -- Brandon
• colorguard -- Diane (Brandon's girlfriend)
• the perfect girlfriend -- Brandon
• my own bedroom -- Lindsey
• that Jesus died for my sins -- Ken
• chewys, beds, petting, running, and all other stuff -- Lacy the dog
• CLC [Christian Leadership Concepts] group -- Ken
• that I got adopted by the perfect family by God's will -- Lindsey

Lindsey suggested we keep going through Christmas. I would have to find a new place to put or hang our greeting cards, but I think it's a great idea.

What are you thankful for?

Intentions

It's the thought that counts. Or is it? This came up in a conversation with friends last night.

Now, when it comes to gift-giving, I absolutely do believe it's the thought that counts. In fact, I even wrote a blog post about that for my birthday last year. I'd love to know you spent time thinking about what I'd really like, even if you don't spend a dime on it; homemade gifts are great! If you go buy a "nice", expensive gift without giving more than a fleeting thought to whether or not I'd really like it, that's not showing me you care. So yes, it is the thought that counts.

BUT...

in relation to the other things of life, is it the thought that counts? My friend used the example of sending me a condolence card: is thinking about sending it the same as actually putting it in the mail? I have the best of intentions about exercising, but is all that "meaning to" getting me in shape? If I'm concerned about divorce statistics but do nothing to encourage my friends in their marriages, am I helping in any way? When I intend to spend quality time with my husband, or my daughter, but then get caught up in distractions and don't do it, am I doing anything to strengthen our relationships?

The answer to all of the above? NOPE.

In order to truly "make the most of the time" (Ephesians 5:16), I have to follow through with those good intentions. Intentional living is worthless if all I have is the intentional part, and skip the living part.

What about you? Do you live out your good intentions?

Walk for Life

This morning I participated in the Walk for Life. My friend Gay volunteers there as a counselor, and I loved the wonderful time we had to talk as we walked. It was so great to see all the others there walking in support of this ministry as well. Gay completed her training a few months ago, and has been working at CPS one day a week. Recently she had the privilege of praying with one of those women as she received Christ; what a blessing for them both!

Our cute t-shirts have this verse on them:

"For your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth." Psalm 26:3

At this church, appropriately named Grace Community Church, there is a rose garden, enclosed by a white picket fence. It's beautiful. At the center of this small garden, there is a memorial to all the babies who have taken "early flight" to heaven. On either side of this plaque are two posts with many tiny plaques up and down the sides; each is dedicated by the parents in honor of their baby. I should've thought to take a picture, but I was too caught up in the moment to think of it. Some of those babies, I think, were stillborn or miscarriages, but many were aborted. Most had names and a reference to a Bible verse. Some said the baby's name, and "We'll hold you in heaven." Several just said,

"To my Unborn Baby:
I'm so sorry"

One of the great things that CPS does is offer post-abortion counseling. I met one of the wonderful ladies who leads that Bible study, who has herself experienced the grace and love of Christ after years of running away from God because of the guilt from her own abortion. At the completion of this Bible study, the women have a memorial service for their aborted babies, and may add a tiny plaque to the rose garden. It's a beautiful yet heartbreaking thing.

It was just this past Monday that I committed to doing this walk, and began requesting donation pledges. Read more about the specifics here. I have such generous friends and family! In less than one week, family and friends near and far, including a blog friend I've never met in real life, committed to donating $500 to Cobb Pregnancy Services! I love y'all! Your financial contribution has helped prevent abortion and share the love of Christ, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

When I find out about the total of all contributions from the walk, I'll let you know.

A Request

If you've been reading my blog for long, you already know that I believe EVERY life is precious. As the wise Dr. Seuss says, "A person's a person, no matter how small." Our work with NILMDTS has only made me feel even more strongly about this. We face parents who have lost these tiny, precious little babies, and that makes abortion seem even more heartbreaking.

In our area, there is a ministry called Cobb Pregnancy Services. Our church works with them, several of my friends volunteer there, and Ken and I have donated to CPS. They offer counseling and help to women who are facing crisis pregnancies. Many of these women enter the doors convinced that abortion is the answer, but many change their minds after talking with a counselor who shares the message of Christ with them, and after seeing the little life growing inside them during a free ultrasound. CPS impacts more and more lives every year. Total client visits have increased from 4,674 in 2006 to 5,222 in 2007 to 5,505 in 2008. Nurses performed over 1,000 ultrasounds last year alone. The Learn & Earn program provided 923 visits to our assistance ministry for mothers and families, and all of this was offered absolutely free of charge because of the generosity of this community.

This coming Saturday, May 2nd is the "Walk for Life," where supporters of CPS will gather to help raise the financial support that is needed to continue to reach our community. The current economic climate makes this "Walk for Life" more important than ever. Every walker personally raises support for their walk. We are not sponsored per mile. Each of our supporters simply makes a pledged donation to be given to CPS after we complete my grueling (ha!) two mile hike over the flat paved path. I decided a little late in the game to participate in this walk, so now I just need the people willing to sponsor me. Any amount you give is a blessing to the ministry. The estimated ministry cost in material resources to carry a single mother from the time that she walks into the door to actually giving birth is approximately $100; that doesn't seem like much considering the fact it may save a life and change a mother’s destiny forever. You don't have to send in the money before the walk; you can email me your mailing address and the amount you pledge to give, and CPS will send you a letter so that you can send in your donation later.

The money given in this campaign will keep the lights on, the air running, the office staffed and stocked with supplies, and the doors open. Because of all of that, lives will be saved and people will come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. And that is truly priceless!

THANK YOU!!!

TV Turn-Off

Today begins National TV Turn-Off Week, when you're encouraged to kill your television. Calm down, now, you don't have to kill it forever! The point is to re-think why and how much you use your television. Why bother? Consider these statistics:

• Number of 30-second commercials seen in a year by an average child: 20,000
• Number of minutes/week parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children: 38.5
• Number of minutes per week that the average child watches television: 1,680
• Hours per year the average American youth spends in school: 900 hours
• Hours per year the average American youth watches television: 1500
• Percentage of Americans that regularly watch television while eating dinner: 66

I don't want anything to have that kind of influence on my kids. Or me! I've learned the hard way that I must be very careful what I give my attention to; I absolutely must be intentional about what I spend time thinking about, or unwholesome thoughts will take over.

"Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

There are many shows on television that I do enjoy, but it doesn't take long before I notice a change in my thinking. One of my former favorite shows tended to glorifies extra-marital affairs, and because of the way the storylines were portrayed, I found myself rooting for the "heroine", who was really the mistress. I don't want to think that's okay! Another of my favorite shows simply had me too on edge to sleep at night once it was over, because of all the dramatic tension of the plot! Not everyone is as sensitive to things like this as I am, but I do think it's something to consider. Until I stopped watching television, I didn't realize I was being so heavily influenced by it. From a different perspective of the same problem, just think of how easily kids start wanting something they see on a commercial, when they would never even have thought to want that thing on their own. I think those "wants" just show up differently with adults.

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your spouse or your children? I saw a billboard the other day that said, "The bus driver knows who your child has a crush on. Do you?" It reminded me of one of the many reasons I choose to homeschool, but even if you don't homeschool, the point is, just how much do you know about the daily lives of your own family members? What was the best and worst thing about their day today? What are their future hopes and dreams? Yes, it is certainly possible to have these kinds of conversations in a home with a television, but I'd definitely argue that they tend to be less frequent.

We do still own a television. It sits in a room upstairs, away from all our main living areas downstairs. There is no furniture in that room, unless you count an exercise ball and a stationary bike. We do have basic cable, but that is only because it comes with our high-speed internet service (which is a requirement for Ken's day job in IT). Once in a while, Ken and Kathryn will watch an episode of Alton Brown's "Good Eats" while I'm hosting a weekly ladies' Bible study group. Occasionally we'll have a movie night, for something like Anne of Green Gables. But mostly, our 15-year-old 20-inch television is very lonely. And we're okay with that.

Maybe you're willing to try life without television, for at least a week. But what in the world will you do to entertain yourself??? I have some suggestions!

1. Enjoy conversation with your spouse and your children.
2. Spend more time savoring dinner.
3. Go out for an ice cream.
4. Play a board game.
5. Read; enjoyable whether you choose to do so aloud, or individually. A little dramatic poetry reading can be fun, too!
6. Go for a walk or bike ride.
7. Play with your dog--we do this one frequently!
8. Catch a jar full of lightning bugs (it's almost time for them)!
9. Listen to an old-fashioned radio show, or let family members take turns as "DJ" to experience each other's taste in music.
10. Look at the stars. Especially fun if you own (or can borrow) a telescope!

There are SO many other things you can do as well. For a while, we'd go outside to laugh and cheer as we watched Ken learn to ride a unicycle! Sometimes we enjoy working together in the flower garden. There are many more suggestions near the bottom of the page here.

So, what do you think? Will you try a week with no television?

Intentional Jewelry?

I've talked about what "love hard" has come to mean to me. I first heard it from Nita and Drew, and I've been so inspired by how they've chosen to walk that out. Then God started teaching me so much about what love really is (several posts on here about that). I've been learning we that we ought to love as hard as we can, as extravagantly as God loves us (a brief post on my other blog about that here.) "Love hard" is also a reminder to me that loving others won't always be easy. In marriage, we must make a choice to love our spouse even when times get tough, even when we don't "feel" the mushy, love-y feelings. The same goes for parenthood, particularly when we bring a young stranger or two into our home to join our family (through adoption); life--and love--may get harder for a while. But when love gets hard, we just have to love harder.

I don't want to forget these lessons I'm learning. And I love pretty, shiny things. So I combined the two! Silver + heartfelt reminder = intentional jewelry! Ken wanted a new sling/backpack camera bag, so I told him to go ahead and buy it and consider that his anniversary present from me. I told him this can be my anniversary present. (Our wedding anniversary is coming up on the 24th of this month.) We're not really into gifts anyway, so we usually skip gift-giving altogether, and just try to go do something we both enjoy. I'd prefer that over gifts any day, and so would he. But isn't this necklace pretty? It's from The Vintage Pearl (love the name!). You can customize them to say anything--as long as it will fit! I love that this is pretty but casual enough for me to wear every day. And every time I hear it jingle or feel it move, I remember to "love hard."

Make the Most of the Time

My peach tree is blooming (I took these photos today), and although it's young and small, the blossoms it does have are just gorgeous. Though my allergies give me puffy eyes, sniffles, and an occasional headache, I still love spring and all the symbolism, significance, and beauty in the season. The intricacies of flowers and in all of creation simply astounds me. Just look at this busy little honeybee all loaded up with his golden plunder!Spring reminds me yet again to be intentional in all I do. I can't ignore those delicate pink blossoms. I delight in watching "my" birds and looking for signs of the next tree or plant to bloom. Spring is one of God's most beautiful ways of getting my attention. He reminds me again that I must make the most of my time (Eph. 5:16). Am I living and loving as hard--as exuberantly--as I can? Am I keeping eternity in mind as I make the most of my time here on earth? Am I making the most of my time with my husband, my kids?

Last week a friend shared something with me that has had me thinking ever since. Her child had so many health issues in utero that she was encouraged to terminate the pregnancy, but my friend decided she would take however long God gave her with this child, who is now a preschooler battling brain cancer. (She is almost done with chemo and her MRI looks great -- praise God!) Because of the all the life-threatening health issues this child has faced, my friend told me that she never gets frustrated or has those hair-pulling parental moments; time is simply too precious. As I've thought about this further, I realized that we are all going to die someday, and only the Lord knows whether that will be 90 years from now, 90 seconds from now, or anywhere in-between. So why aren't we all living like my friend, and choosing to treasure every precious moment?

I know I'll still fail at this many times, and I probably still have times when I'm inclined to pull out a little of my hair, but I want to make the most of my time. I want to live and love as hard as I can. How 'bout you?

Pitfalls of Perfectionism

Hi. My name is Jamie, and I am a perfectionist.

I trying to overcome my evil perfectionist ways, so I guess a more accurate opening statement would be to say that I'm a recovering perfectionist. One thing I've realized: perfectionism = procrastination. For me, anyway. I don't know why it took me this many years to figure that out, but it just occurred to me when I was talking to Ken last night. I've always been a procrastinator, and the reason is that I didn't want to do it until I could do it as perfectly as possible. I'm thinking in particular about school projects, term papers, and things like that. When it came down to the 11th hour, I'd finally do it because a less-than-perfect project or paper was better than a failing grade. Every time, as I'd frantically do all that needed to be done, and stay up til crazy hours the night before it was due, I'd SWEAR I'd never, ever do it again; that NEXT time, I'd start on it way ahead of time. I'd be convinced that I'd merely scrape by with a passing grade, but most of the time I'd end up with an "A" and some glowing comments from the teacher about how she wished all the students would put in as much time and effort as I obviously had. (Hello, guilt trip!) So, apparently, I work well under pressure, but I am also complete crazy under pressure, and trust me, NO ONE wants to be around me when I'm like that.

I've also realized that my perfectionism has caused me to be rather lazy. (Here comes the part where I sound full of myself, so please don't take it that way!) I'm good at many things. My mom never had to teach me how to read, but had to hide the newspapers so I wouldn't be asking at age 4 or 5 what "kidnapping" was. I'm relatively good at decorating and crafty projects and such. I have some freakish gene that makes me giddy about organization. I've taken good photographs from the time I got my first camera. But I don't like hard things. Although I claim to enjoy challenges, what I really mean is that I like challenging aspects of things I'm already good at doing. I don't really like things that are out of my comfort zone, and if I'm not fairly good at something, then I don't want to try it because that means I risk failing, which is a terrible thing for a perfectionist.

My dear daughter has inherited this perfectionist thing from me. If I don't get over it, I won't know how to help her to overcome it. Beyond my own frustrations at myself when my perfectionism rears it's ugly head (and at her when she shows symptoms), helping her conquer it is even more motivation to change this about myself.

Now I know in my head that no one--other than Christ--is perfect, and although we should seek to become as much like Him as we possibly can, that we won't ever truly achieve perfection. And I also know, just like it says in my profile, that absolutely anything and everything good that I ever accomplish is because of Christ in me. Perfectionism is still something I fight with, but I am finally giving it to God. Like many things, my human tendency is to pick it back up again, so it's going to take a big helping of His grace, and more than likely He's going to have to help me in a million small ways to change my thinking.

P.S. - I just finished LAUGHING like crazy because of the part I wrote there about the million small ways, and then when I published this post there was some weird space at the top, next to "Hi", and absolutely no reason for it to be there, even when I looked at html and it looked fine in preview mode. God most certainly has a sense of humor!

It's an Action Verb Kind of Day!

It's Valentine's Day, and that seems like the perfect time to share a few thoughts about love. God's been teaching me about love lately! I believe He's showing me these things largely because of what He wants us to know before we adopt, but if I truly take these things to heart, they should prompt me to love everyone better!

Recently, I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and was surprised to find that I really liked the book and there was quite a bit in there that applies to all types of relationships, whether they be romantic, family, friends, or so forth. One question that made me think: Do I love others sacrificially, or just for what I get out of the relationship? The way Jesus loved is how we're supposed to love others, and he laid down his life for us! That makes me re-evaluate how I treat my husband, my friends, my family--and the kids we'll adopt. Being their mom will be a blessing, but it's really not about how easy or how hard my life may become.

I love this parable sort of thing that Joshua Harris (the author) gives: When a model puts on a designer's outfit, if that outfit is hideous, we don't think badly of the model, but of the designer. If I claim to be a follower of Christ, but I'm wearing the world's all-about-me, selfish, feel-good version of love, what kind of message am I delivering? I must "put on" God's kind of love and throw off the world's kind of pseudo-love. And that made me think of this verse: "...it is plain that you are Christ's letter... not written with ink but with the Spirit of the living God; not on stone tablets but on tablets that are hearts of flesh." (2 Cor 3:3) Whatever we do, we are Christ's letter to the world. Am I what He wants to be saying?

A dear friend reminded me recently that we're called to be servants. To love by serving others. We're not called to easy, trouble-free lives. In fact, we're called to live hard, love hard, and run to Jesus. That's a phrase Brock's dad used at Brock's memorial service because that's how Brock lived his brief but full life. The phrase has come to mean a great deal to me, but in a nutshell, I'd explain it this way: We are to live enthusiastically for today but with eternity in mind, love whole-heartedly even when it's difficult, and depend on Jesus for everything!

We are only capable of love because God loved us first; He gave us the ability to love. If we claim to love God, we must put action behind our words. God expects to love one another and expressly commands it! (See 1 John 4:21) Loving God includes loving people. We are to love God's children because that's how we show that we love God! If we know God--who IS love--then we will love others. Period. God loved us enough to send His son to pay the price for our sins; isn't it fitting that we sacrificially love others to show our appreciation in some small way?

I pray that you will understand the words of Jesus, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Ask yourself “How has he loved me? Do I really love others in the same way?” Unless this love is among us, we can kill ourselves with work and it will only be work, not love. Work without love is slavery. ~Mother Teresa

Serving others and loving even those who are difficult might seem too hard for us, but if we have the Holy Spirit in us, then we're enabled to love His way. The first part of the fruit of the spirit is love, so we have love, along with joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Gal 5:22) We might choose to ignore it, but it's there and we can't legitimately claim to not have enough patience or self-control... or love.

Love is a choice--it can't be forced, even by God Himself, because then it isn't really love. Jesus chose to come here to earth, knowing what lay ahead of Him, and He chose to die on that cross. He didn't want to (remember His prayer in the garden of Gethsemane), but He chose to do it because that was the only way to save us, and He loved us that much. Love is an action verb! It's not a passive feeling or a bunch of daydreamy thoughts, and it sometimes requires us to do some hard things.

Mother Teresa said, "Keep the joy of loving God in your heart and share this joy with all you meet, especially your family." Enjoy your Valentine's Action Verb Day, and go love some folks!!!

Take the First Step

"Take the first step in faith.
You don't have to see the whole staircase.
Just take the first step."
Martin Luther King, Jr

About an hour and a half away from where I live is a state park called Amicalola Falls. In the Cherokee language, amicalola means "tumbling waters." It's easy to see why.The falls are 729 feet high. One of the most amazing aspects of these great falls is that such power comes from a seemingly slow, gentle, and fairly small river. In fact, I'd call it merely a creek, rather than a river. If I had a good running start, I could jump most of the way across the creek. Just think of all that hidden power. I think that's how we are. Only the Lord knows what we're capable of, and what kind of great things we can accomplish if we let Him use us, even when we appear -- to ourselves and others -- as ordinary.

There are 600 stairs that lead up & down alongside the falls. I was on a retreat at this great park over the weekend, and on Saturday, I went to see these breath-taking falls. When I started down those 600 stairs, I couldn't really see them all, but I knew it was a LONG way down. I didn't plan to go all the way because I did not think my legs or my out-of-shape lungs could handle it. I decided I'd start down, and stop when I got tired. After taking a little break, though, I realized how much more I could see if I kept going, so I decided to go just a little bit farther. Then I saw a rainbow in the mist at the top of the falls, and I wanted a better look, so I went still farther. After climbing down 425 stairs (No, I didn't count; a sign told me how many there are!), I reached the bridge that crosses just below the biggest cascade of the series of waterfalls. I stood for a while on the bridge just taking in the beauty all around me, then decided to go the remaining 175 steps beyond the bridge so I could see the falls from a different vantage point.

Every time I'm out in God's creation, I feel so small compared to the vastness of the trees and the mountains and things like 729-foot waterfalls. At the same time, though, I always feel close to God when I take the time to admire what He's created, and to remember that He not only created me, but He loves me so much that He died -- for me! After catching my breath, I headed back up all 600 stairs. At the top, I looked back towards the west, where the mountains showed why they are called the Blue Ridge, and the setting sun painted the sky varying shades of pink and orange. My legs were jelly, I was really out of breath, and my heart was pounding, but if I hadn't taken those stairs, I would have missed so much. I believe that's how it is in life. We must depend completely upon Christ. When I can't see the staircase, I have to hold His hand and let Him guide me. I don't even have to be willing (yet!) to go all the way, but I do have to make the decision to take that first step. He can't make me -- it has to be my choice. As I trust Him, He'll show me things that make me want to keep going, holding his hand all the while. When I get to where He wanted me to go, I'll be so glad I did it, even if I'm out of breath and ever-so-tired. It will all be worth it. Over the past week or so, as we look for answers & guidance about our adoption, I have said several times that I'd love to have crystal ball to see into the future. The thing about that crystal ball, though, is that even if I could know the future, I probably couldn't handle it. God gives me what I need for today. Only today. Not tomorrow or next week or next year. When I get to the next day, He'll give me all I need for that day.

We don't need to count the stairs. We don't need to know how long it will take us to climb them all. We just have to take that first step, leaning on God and letting him lead us.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

In Other Words is hosted today at Shorty Bear's Place.

Pucker Up!

That living intentionally stuff? I am working hard on it, and constantly seeking to let the Lord show me other areas of my life where I need to be more intentional. And I'm being brave and telling y'all about it so I've got some major blogland accountability! Yikes! Good thing I know "God hasn't given [me] a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline," because I'm going to need ALL of those! (2 Timothy 1:7)

A quick update on how I'm doing so far:
• I am not getting up as early as I'd like. My goal is 6:30AM, but that "naturally" waking up thing just isn't happening. I have a strong animosity towards alarm clocks, but yesterday I realized that we're going to have to learn to get along. As of today I started using the alarm to wake me. In Day One of Jamie vs. Alarm Clock, I am not sure who won, but I still didn't get up on time.
• However, I have spent some time with the Lord every morning for about two weeks now. Not always the very first thing -- it depends on how early I do get up, and when Kathryn gets up and how hungry she is, but it's still in the morning. So, YAY!
• Regular exercise is not happening so far. It's a goal, but I don't really have a specific plan on that yet. I had thought we'd go for a walk on all but the the rainiest, coldest days, but it is SUPER cold this week. Ok, not Alaska-cold, but this is Georgia, y'all. And a high in the 30's or 40's in Georgia seems like Arctic temperatures. I really used to think I wanted to move somewhere like Vermont or Maine, but now this Georgia born-and-bred gal is thinking she's too much of a cold-weather wuss for that. Summers in Vermont, however, still sound quite lovely!
• We are getting back into the swing of things in our homeschool, but not being too rigid in our schedule. So this is going well.
• I received the loveliest note cards as a surprise gift from a friend (Thanks, Mari!) to encourage me in that part of my intentional living. She, of course, was the first recipient of one of those beautiful cards. I told her they are so pretty I want to hoard them for myself, but that doesn't really accomplish my goal, does it? I sent off another one to an old friend today.
• On the topic of modesty, or "intentional clothing" perhaps, Sarah Mae is hosting a Modesty Fashion Show this Thursday! She wants to show that modest does not equal frumpy. What a neat idea! If I have time to play model before then, I'll be playing along, too.

And now I've added a few more things. I'll call this Intentional Marriage, and I encourage you to join in the fun. It'll bless your man, and you, too! Jill is hosting the 1 Corinthians 7:5 Challenge (for married couples only!) and Kristen has given herself a Kiss Challenge, and will host a S.W.A.K Carnival on the three days leading up to Valentine's Day. Kissing burns calories, releases feel-good chemicals in your brain, and is dentist recommended (seriously)! And besides the fabulous marital benefits of the 1 Cor. 7:5 Challenge, there are many other perks, too! If you've made a new year's resolution for better health and fitness, consider these health benefits (from an article on WebMD):

1- relieves stress
2- boost immunity (great in cold & flu season!)
3- burns calories and it's great exercise!
4- improves cardiovascular health
5- boosts self-esteem
6- improves intimacy (may I say, "duh!" to that one?)
7- reduces pain (no more headache excuse!)
8- reduces the risk of prostate cancer for him
9- strengthens pelvic floor muscles for her
10- helps you sleep better because of the release of oxytocin


As part of my intentional living, I plan to show my guy how swell I think he is! ♥ I encourage you to show your husband/wife how swell you think he/she is, too!

Thoughts about Modesty

I could've titled this one, "Intentional Appearance" since this is really another part of my quest to live intentionally. For instance, I'm growing my hair out because it's less expensive for me to have longer hair (less frequent haircuts) and because my husband likes it better longer--though, truly, I could shave my head and he'd still tell me I'm beautiful. Love that guy! I stopped coloring it over a year ago because of the cost, and because it was drying out my hair. Besides, those silver hairs add character--or, at least that's what I'm telling myself! In the past few years, my clothing choices have gradually been changing; it just doesn't feel right to wear bikini swimsuits or short-shorts. (Makes me want to sing the song from that commercial. Remember that? "If you dare wear short-shorts, Nair for short-shorts. But I digress...)

Lately I've been thinking much more seriously about the issue of modesty. When I was a teenager and young woman, I decided that having power over men felt better than a broken heart. I found that I had great control over them by stirring up their lust. My sinful, selfish nature like that, so my clothing became more revealing and if flirtation had been an Olympic sport, I'd have earned a gold medal. I spent years causing men to sin in their hearts, and often in their actions, too. I didn't understand the implications of causing others to sin; I didn't know how badly I was hurting myself; I didn't realize all that I was taking away from my future husband. And I had no idea how badly I was breaking God's heart.

It took many years for me to fully understand. Just this week God brought a fresh level of understanding about how deep my sin had been. (Please read this, too.) Though I have repented about these things, and though I know God has forgiven me, I never want to forget this sorrow, in hopes that I might be able to steer others away from these kinds of mistakes. I tearfully apologized to my husband a few days ago because I suddenly realized just how much should have been his, but I took those things from him. I don't plan to stifle my God-given enthusiastic personality and I still like to look attractive--partly for myself, but also so that my husband finds me attractive and is proud to have me by his side. However, I never want to cause another man to stumble, so now I consider what I wear and how I act, and I have a fresh appreciation and understanding of why modesty is so very important. I encourage you to truly consider how you present yourself, but I don't think there should ever be a "list" of what is appropriate to do or to wear because it is a heart issue, and should never become a legalistic matter.

No one ever wakes up and randomly decides to make this the day they become a thief or adulterer or alcoholic or anything like that. To quote a favorite Casting Crown's song, "People never crumble in a day; it's a slow fade." It's a gradual process that happens bit by bit, and begins with allowing sinful thoughts to creep in and stay there. It comes from not holding every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:4). Another line from the song says, "The journey from your mind to your hands is shorter than you're thinking." I can attest to the verity of that song because I have lived it.

Intentional Homeschooling

While we've been on break the last two weeks, I spent less time blogging and more time thinking about intentional living. I know without a doubt that the Lord called me to homeschool, so of course it's a big priority for me. However, I'm a list-maker and box-checker at heart, so homeschool can easily veer into a long to-do list for me to check, check, check. Although box-checking does bring me a odd bit of joy, that's not what I want school to be about, nor is it what God called me to do. I needed to refocus, so it was time to write out my main goals, and make sort of a mission statement for our homeschool.

With quite a bit of prayer, here's what I wrote:

Education is an Atmosphere, a Discipline, a Life.
We want to give our children a quality education built on the solid foundation of Biblical teaching and faith in Christ. To allow them the freedom to wonder, imagine, ask questions, and learn hands-on whenever possible. To teach them to be confident and self-disciplined. Love, encourage, and disciple them so they grow up to be spiritually wise, creative, responsible, caring individuals who follow Christ and lead lives that glorify God.

This means I must not obsess over what does or doesn't get done. Learning happens even on those days when we don't complete our math lessons. Learning happens even when the art project doesn't come out right, or if we end up veering off course from what we had *planned* to study. Learning happens even if *all* we do is cook and clean and go for a walk and visit a neighbor, but never once crack open a workbook.

I want to "make the most of every opportunity..." (Ephesians 5:16), so this means prioritizing what we do. I must remind myself that life happens, and on some days even the following few "daily" things may not get done. Relationships--which grow through love and encouragement--are so much more important than my checklist.

Here's what I'd like to happen daily:

• Begin our days with Bible reading and a devotion. Sometimes we'll delve into a bit more of a Bible lesson later in the day.
• Weather permitting, spend time outdoors every day. Some days may include a somewhat structured nature study, while some days may just include a short walk or a bit of play.
• Spend time reading *living* books to feed the mind and stir the imagination.

Most days, I hope to include:

• Math lesson
• Home Ec &/or Handicrafts (household chores, cooking & sewing, etc)
• Copywork (excerpt of poem or Bible verse)
• Poetry and/or Music

Sometime during the week, we should be able to fit these in, too:

• Science and/or Nature Study
• History readings (and try to include some kind of hands-on project or additional history-related activity)
• Art lesson

One of the many reasons I love homeschooling is because of all that I learn along the way! "Wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy." (Proverbs 2:10).

Ministry of the Mailbox

My great-grandmother wrote a letter to me when I was born. I have a few pictures of me with her, but she lived in another state, so I didn't see her often, and I was still quite young when she died. But I know she loved me even before she knew me, because of that letter. My mother saved it for me in my baby book.

Have you ever received a beautiful thank-you note, or heartfelt letter from a friend or relative? I have, and I love them! I have many of them saved to look at again in the future. A note or letter like that is a powerful source of encouragement, but with all the technology of our world these days, they are becoming more scarce. We seldom use "snail mail" for anything these days.

"See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:12-13

We are all called to encourage one another. As part of my intentional living, I want to become more of an encourager, and writing letters and notes is one way I can do this. I've heard this referred to as "the ministry of the mailbox." Finding a hand-written card in the mailbox addressed to you (one that isn't a bill!) is a lovely surprise, and far more special than having email in your inbox. Specific ideas for doing this include:

• thank you notes to people who have made a difference in your life. This could be a teacher, neighbor, friend, or relative from childhood or recent years
• notes of appreciation to people who have extended hospitality to you, whether it was a place to live, or just a cup of tea
• a letter of encouragement and support to a new believer -- they'll need it!
• love letters to your spouse
• love letters to your children
• an above-and-beyond recommendation letter when the opportunity arises
  (A friend did this for a prospective Eagle Scout. Sometimes they get to read the letter themselves.)
• a letter of encouragement to someone going through a difficult time

I seldom say the "right" thing, but I've learned that 99.9% of the time, what's in your heart will come through, even if the wording is wrong or awkward. Just making the effort is what counts. (And it will probably come more easily with practice!)

Living Intentionally

Although the timing of this post would seem like a new year's resolution sort of thing, I don't do new year's resolutions. When I realize something I should be doing, I go ahead and make a resolution then, whether it's January 1st or any other day of the year. Less pressure that way, too.

I don't want to just go through the motions of life, or school, or church, or my daily routine; I want to consider why I'm doing what I do, and whether or not what I'm doing is leading to my ultimate goals. In order to figure out all that, I must actually have long-term, ultimate goals. So this intentional living stuff is rather complex and multi-faceted.

The first time I really started thinking about this was after a sermon where the pastor was comparing our lives to a box top of a puzzle. When you put together a big, complex puzzle, you don't generally turn all the pieces upside down and hide the box. You look at the picture on that box top, and you choose pieces based on that. You get the border done first, if possible, and you can see that the sky-blue pieces probably go near the top... you get the idea. Well, our lives are like that, but most people go through life without looking at the box top, or even knowing what kind of picture they are putting together. So the first thing that needs to happen is to get an idea of what picture is on your box top. What do you want your box top to look like? That will help you decide what puzzle pieces to choose.

My Sunday school teacher made the same point a different way. He gave us a little chart. At the top it says, "Before I die, I want to..." and then it has columns with these headings: be; do; have; help; enjoy; leave. There are numbers down the left side. He gave this example: "Before I die, I want to enjoy all five of my children's weddings." Because he has that as his goal, he can more easily determine shorter-term goals. To enjoy his children's weddings, he must: teach his children about how to seek God's guidance in choosing a godly spouse; set an example for them in what a godly marriage looks like; take care of himself physically so that he does everything in his power to be alive & healthy at that time; set responsible financial goals so he can pay (or help pay) for their weddings... and so on.

By doing this, you are establishing your own personal mission statement.

I'm still pondering what my chart and/or box top should look like. Ken and I have talked about writing a family mission statement, but we still haven't done it. Perhaps over the next couple of weeks, when he is off work and we have time to relax and enjoy some family time, would be the perfect time to do this. I'd like to work on our own personal mission statements, too, which of course will be interrelated. As part of mine, I'm working on a list of smaller goals and specific things I want to do or change. Some of these are related to school; we're halfway through our school year, and there are things I want to revamp, or at least reevaluate. Other goals will be related to my spiritual life/growth, my health/fitness, and how I'm managing our household. One of the nifty things I've learned about blogland is that putting something out here for the "world" to see gives me a sense of accountability; even if none of you actually pester me ask how things are going, I still feel obligated to keep my word. So once I come up with this list goals, I think I'll post them to give me a little more motivation to keep them going.